As a woman who has her own, I have found it extremely difficult to find a man. The cold hard truth is, men want to feel as if they are needed by a woman. They want to be the knight in shining armor and her protector. As a woman who works long hours, is a business student, and keeps up with a weight lifting schedule, men usually run from me. I empathize with them, I really do. You want to feel like a “man”, I get that. But just because I do not need a savior and you to rescue me, does not mean I do not want to feel wanted.
I have been told by multiple men I am a flight risk. They tell me I am bound to find them not good enough and leave them empty handed and heartbroken. They leave me before I could ever leave them. They do not even give me the chance to show them I can be soft and my wall is not always up as it might appear to be.
To all these men who have run away because of my hard shell and tough exterior, please understand things from my side. I was told to create my own world, so that nobody could have the power to take it away. I was raised to learn and get an education and use every area of my mind, because your mind is the most important part of who you are. I was encouraged to work a significant job that makes a difference in the world, no matter how small. I strive to be the best me I can be. By working and having school all week long, I am working on me.
I want you to be next to me while I am doing this. I am not going anywhere. Please understand if I ever told you that I want you in my life, it is because I see a fire in you. I would never chose to keep people in my circle if they were not striving to better themselves every day. I find you great and full of potential.
I want you to understand that beneath the brick walls all us independent women have, are soft and nurturing ladies. We love Sunday drives and warm tea. We love tulips and a glass of white wine on a Thursday evening. We adore when you hold our hand in the car and turn up our favorite country song.
We spend long hours at the office and torturing ourselves over textbooks in the library, holding up this image to gain the respect of our colleagues and to make a name of ourselves all day long. When we meet a man we find interest in, we hold this image in protection. We rarely get to wipe the business woman clean from our days, since we are constantly on the go. But when we finally start to open up and show the other side of who we are, it seems too late.
Please be patient with us. We want to build empires with you. We are not looking for you to take care of us, because we can take care of ourselves. We do not wait around for that purse, we simply buy it. We do not wait around to go to that hilarious movie we’ve been waiting months to see, we simply go alone.
So many men fear these women who are growing on their own, they feel they have no place in her life. You do. You have the best place in our lives, which is in our hearts. Which also happen to be quite large. We have given our all in every other aspect of our lives and the one thing we have saved for you is our hearts.