We live in a world where society craves definition. Are you gay? Are you straight? Are you two dating? Where is this going? This thought of the unknown kills us — utterly baffling to be in a situation that does not have a label attached to it.
As much as you want to know the definition, we want to be able to define it. However, like most things in life, it is not that easy. In situations like relationships, it is even harder to define. Life throws so many curveballs on a regular basis making it hard to go with the flow, but unfortunately completely necessary to just go with it. Defining a relationship is something many avoid doing. Are you two just hooking up? Are you exclusive? The questions go on for days and the only answers people are looking for are labels, which are almost impossible to assign nowadays. Due to this, the “Almost” relationship was born.
So you’ve hooked up for awhile, you’ve been on a few dates, and you may even hang out with their group of friends—seems like a relationship, right? Well, yes and no. There is so much more to a relationship than just the sex, the dates, and how many times you’ve been shown off to their group of friends. However, how much more constitutes as a relationship? And, how do you even get to that point?
The sad and honest truth: you may not ever get to that point. This is something that you must accept going into anything. It is so nice to be happy and optimistic about the beginnings of something new with another human, but FIRST THINGS FIRST: YA GOTTA BE A REALIST. Cynicism sucks, but sometimes you need it for your own sanity.
Communication is the only real way to get out of the “almost” relationship hump. Due to my unfortunate past with a few “almost” relationships, I can say that communication is the end for those “relationships” that are going nowhere and the beginning to those that have quite the future ahead of them. Oh the dreaded, “where are we going?” talk. I have honestly received some of the best answers to that question in terms of how ridiculous they sounded. It is such a high-pressure situation but it is a conversation that needs to be had.
While you may not need that girlfriend/boyfriend label, a clear and defined future is a must. Obviously, we’re not talking about planning out your life, but a little outline of where you see this in a few months is always a good place to start.
Now for those “almost” relationships that end after the “Where are we going?” conversation, we face an even bigger issue. We keep searching for where to file them in our brain just so we are able to get over them. It is such a common thought to think that “almost” relationships are the easiest to get over because you know; it was nothing real, right? False—so very false.
When “almost” relationships end, they do not “almost” hurt, they hurt to the absolute fullest extent that any relationship ending could. Please do not think that you do not have the right to hurt as much as you do when your “almost” relationship ends. These are the hardest to get over because you cannot really file them away. It is an unsolved case, a book half-read, a sandwich with no bread—these things that do not make sense and will never have the chance to actually make sense. These “almost” relationships can and will haunt your mind if you give them the chance to.
But it does not have to be like that. While you may experience many, many “almost” relationships, I promise you that you will find someone who will want to turn that “almost” into something so complete and so satisfying. That absolute connection will answer those dreaded questions, and maybe even define those unknowns.