You Might’ve Heard Of This Thing Called, ‘Taking It Slow’

image - Flickr / . Entrer dans le rêve
image – Flickr / . Entrer dans le rêve

So you may or may not have hooked up with him at a frat party and now you may or may not have feelings for him. But, months have passed and besides the occasional snapchat or run-ins around campus, you haven’t really heard much from him. You know that he talks about you all the time, but you’re just not sure about how you feel about this situation so you kind of keep your mouth shut and just try not to think about it. Then, BAM, things go from 0-60 in literally .02 seconds and you’re at a loss — what’s a girl supposed to do?

Okay ladies, we may think that we have the male population down to a science, but we actually don’t. Every astrological compatibility test you take, every advice column you read, and every Sex and the City episode you watch, will NOT help you to understand men. It just doesn’t work. They’re a foreign species. You will spend long nights gathering all this research and then the guy that you may or may not be semi-involved with, will turn out to be completely different than you thought. I bet that quiz you took in Cosmo didn’t tell you that would happen, did it?

Setting: his bedroom. You’re in his room with a few friends procrastinating studying for finals. There is always this sexual tension present between the two of you, not even like a tension because you’ve already been there semi-done that. Nonetheless, there is something between you. The topic of conversation changes to relationships and he starts talking about how he wants a girl that he can spoil, take downtown for dinner, and take cute pictures with. Inside you’re vomiting because he is explaining everything you want in a relationship that you’re kind of too embarrassed to ever admit out loud. You get noticeably quiet. You start to think of you and him as a couple, as more than just two people who are more than acquaintances but act like you barely know each other. However, he starts to go on about how he has been hurt in the past. You think about your past with a few members of the Mr. Wrong club. Now this gets you thinking, your mind is racing at this point. Do I want to date him?

Answer: yes and no. You understand his past because you have had a similar past. You obviously want a boyfriend to share life experiences with, however you are not 100% sure that you want him as your boyfriend. But, you can’t stop thinking about him. But sure enough, you get the infamous text trying to answer the age-old question. What are we doing? It’s a simple question, right? Wrong. Those four words, five syllables, and that terrifying question mark: the start of something. That something may be a relationship, or if you avoid it long enough, a forced acquaintance-ship that neither of you really want but you’re both too scared to do anything about it. Moral of the story: he likes you but you just don’t want to hurt him because you like him. You say that you over text is just not the time or place to be having this conversation. You say that these conversations cannot be planned and that it just kind of happens. He assures you that there is no pressure, and that he wants to just go with the flow. Elated—you agree and add, “Whatever happens happens”. After he says goodnight, you look down at your hands — your gel manicure appears to be gone: nerves. You just agreed to essentially take things slow and get to know each other and just see what happens between the two of you. Get to know each other? Weird. I guess it is all part of that crazy thing called taking it slow. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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