We’re All A Bunch Of Commitmentphobes

I’m an undergraduate in America. So I check my cell phone every eleven seconds, respond to email within the hour, and binge drink on the regular. I do all of these things simultaneously at parties.

Becoming aware of my own impatience in social settings was an exercise in nausea. I looked around at friends taking shots and porch-sitting amiably on a barely breezy summer night.

“Where are we going next?”

“Okay, and after that?”

“I heard she’s all coked up.”

“It’s fine, we have options.”

We all have boundless options, really, because we’re a text away from anywhere but here. Double majors. Three boyfriends. Four messages asking us to smoke pot/ drink beer/ writhe at various locations on campus. Fifty Facebook friends we’ve never even met.

But what’s so awful about this party?

“It’s getting stale.”

“I promised my friend Kate we’d stop by.”

“There’d better be decent alcohol at the next stop.”

We can’t sit still. And that’s okay, because when we hang out, we all warm our laps with little boxes wearing glowing fruit. Videos of animals in their infancy are there to fill the sagging space where conversation used to reside. We really need never look each other in the eye, unless we’re doing Facetime.

And so we’ll grow restless with the restlessness. We’ll go analog. We’ll host parties where instead of keys, everyone tosses phones into a bowl. We’ll smirk and scoff about dependence upon little boxes with screens. Later on, we can leave a perfectly wonderful gathering, full of the people we like, for a mediocre one.

Happiness will keep evading us. The real world does not have Wi-Fi. TC mark

image – comedy_nose

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

    The world will have wi-fi very soon.

  • Alex D

    But the real world does have 3G/4G…

    • http://twitter.com/JoshBatman Josh Boykin

      My real world has neither, and it’s a sad existence. Or perhaps the idea that I think it’s a sad existence is the sad part…

  • http://fwp.me Calvin Camus

    “But what’s so awful about this article?”“It’s getting stale.”“I promised my friend Allison we’d stop by.”“There’d better be a coherent thesis at the next stop.”

    • Alison Greenberg

      Thank you for the constructive comment.

  • http://twitter.com/yanyun92 Lim Yan Yun

    technology is the clingy date you bring to the party.

  • lam

    i agree completely with you. i don’t like it, but we’re all slaves of technology.. ):

  • EP

    “And so we’ll grow restless with the restlessness. We’ll go analog.” So true, and it’s what I dream to do. Why can’t I do it? Well in my second senior year of college, I HAVE to communicate with my teachers 24/7 about various homework and class issues, so I can’t. But one day I will.

    Nice little article.

    • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

      The fact you’re telling yourself you HAVE to, 24/7, is the real issue.

      • EP

        I guess I should rephrase that I don’t have to talk to them 24/7, but I
        like having the ability to email them when I have questions over
        homework. And when getting into graduate school depends on the classes I’m taking, and I take 18 hours per semester, it’s pretty vital to have the ability to communicate with my professors when I have questions. They probably do get annoyed, but I don’t give a fuck. Maybe they should tell us to not have questions and just guess on everything, right? I’d rather be the annoying suck up and get better grades for it than not ask and make lower grades.

      • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

        Next time you’re between semesters, ditch the internet and your phone for a weekend with the exception of emergency calls. You’ll either go crazy or realize you hate technology after hour six.

    • Guest

      You HAVE TO communicate with your teachers 24/7?  They’re probably so annoyed by you.  

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=42002098 Mage Baltes

    I only have a handful of friends, and I’m not cool, so I can’t relate. At parties I typically use my smart phone as a watch and sometimes, if I’m feeling extra fancy, as a camera. The only party I’ve been invited to is the one I’m at, and if it’s not awesome I either have to help make it awesome or go home.

    I commit. I’m committed. I’m a committee.

    • douchegirl

      Are you me?

  • Guest

    Get rid of your smartphone, man.  This is why I’m terrified to get one.  

  • your cousin

    When traffic on my drive home is especially slow and my audiobook isn’t holding my attention, I also play Bubble Blast on my phone to pass the time.

  • Guest

    Really loved this, and it completely tug at my heart strings. Hate our generation sometimes.

  • Guest

    Really loved this, and it completely tug at my heart strings. Hate our generation sometimes.

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