I Walked Away From You And It Was The Best Thing I Did For Myself

Melan Cholia

The saddest truth is that I used to wonder if I should call you up and introduce you to the new me. But I realized that I’m not willing to share my masterpiece with you. You are so undeserving of knowing who I became.

You see, I worked hard to better myself, I built myself up from the rock bottom hole that YOU pushed me in. You left me there without a care as to whether I could make it out or not. You never thought I’d make it out and I didn’t forget that you’re the one who forced me to dig my way out and change in the first place. But for some reason, I’m thankful for you doing that for me and that’s the reason I feel as if I need to show you who I am now.

I guess I know you’ll love the new me and I know I’ll be scared of that outcome because you’ll be the exact same person I left you as. I won’t be happy to see you. I won’t smile at the sight of you. I’ll look at you and see the same man who ruined the girl I used to be and in my eyes that’s not fair to who I am now. I guess I just want you to know that I became and you haven’t. But then I realize none of that even matters. None of it does if it involves you. That mindset is selfish and that isn’t who I am anymore.

Do you know how hard it was to actually walk away from you? Do you know how hard it is to be stranded on your own and the only way out is the find the person you lost so long ago within the same being that has been brainwashed by another person for so long? Do you know how hard it was for me?

Well, I did it. I found me. I created a new mindset from total destruction and I guess I could thank you, but you weren’t there through my struggle. Why should I thank you for ruining me in the first place? Why should I thank you for losing myself in you in the first place?

You weren’t there for the tears I cried or the late night thoughts after you left. You didn’t care then and I doubt you would even care now. I guess I could give you the credit for leaving me to deal with the mess, but you know what…you are the most undeserving man, you are the most undeserving person to meet who I became.

I realized that I don’t need to prove to you that I made it. I don’t need to show you my transformation. I don’t need to explain to you how hard I worked because I don’t think you’d even acknowledge it anyway. Proving you wrong is so irrelevant to who I am now.

The power of who I became stands strong with the foundation of you never knowing who I am now. The beauty of my transformation is never letting you meet who I became because I did it without you. I built a life that you are never going to be apart of and I realized that was the whole point. You abandoned the girl who needed you, and the best revenge is who I became from that and knowing who you still are; the same undeserving man. The GIRL you left for dead was buried in the trenches. She is only apart of my past and just like you, I had to abandon her too with any other thoughts of you.

And I hope you know that the answer is clear, you’ll never meet the WOMAN I became because she’s making herself the perfect WOMAN for someone else now, and this WOMAN promised that GIRL who she had to bury, that she would make it right and never meet the undeserving man who took her life. TC mark

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