Worthlessness and self doubt are two of the most debilitating feelings one could ever experience. When you lose hope in yourself and in the life that you lead, you lose the desire to exist at all. What many need to understand is that people do not choose to be depressed; they do not choose to wake up each morning and dread the fact that they have to face another day.
There are things that people struggle with that some of us may never fully comprehend. Until you have experienced how paralyzing numbness can be and how the struggle to keep pushing on leaves you feeling weak and tired, you will never fully understand how a person can go to such extreme measures to escape the pain of waking up another day.
Yesterday was Suicide Prevention Day, and while there are some who will look at this day and shake their heads, it needs to be understood that suicide is NOT, by any means, an act of selfishness. It is not to seek or gain attention, because for those who succeed in it do not gain anything and for those who try and do not succeed, they feel nothing but shame. Many of those who commit suicide do so on impulse; there was no premeditated plan and there was no thinking it through. When depression latches onto you and manifests, it can easily spin out of control, completely overtaking a person’s thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Depression has no bias. It does not care how old you are, what race you are, what sexual orientation you hold, or how much money you have sitting in your bank account.
Depression imprisons you; you become victim to it’s unrelenting grip and while many people say those who suffer are weak, they are far from being correct. Most of those who suffer depression, most of the people who have committed suicide, are some of the strongest people to have walked this Earth, but even the strongest people can fall down.
I honestly don’t think depression can be adequately described because of the fact that it is felt so differently among each of its victims. Those who have felt such extreme self-loathing can empathize with those who have also felt this way, but that is not to say those feelings are the exact same. Each person has their own story to tell; each person has their own reason for feeling as low as they do.
Those who are suffering should never have to feel guilty for not wanting to be in their own skin. You are allowed to feel pain. You are allowed to feel like you want to give up.
It doesn’t matter if it’s over a break up, or your best friend hates you, or if you lost someone dear to you. Depression holds no stigma, except the ones we place on it. It can consume anybody over any problem.
So please, if you or someone you know is battling depression, or if they are experiencing suicidal tendencies, do not judge. All we can do is love and love and love some more. Suicide does not have to be an answer; depression can be defeated. All it takes is support from those who truly care.