I think we’ve all been there – in the “almost” relationship. The one that never actually is or the one that’s never quite right, no matter how badly we want it to be.
From the beginning we secretly know that it’s not right, that it never will be. Yet despite that knowledge, we spend so much time trying to rationalize it all in our heads. We try to explain away the doubts, the fear, the hurt. We tell ourselves the timing is just off, the distance makes it hard, that a love like ours could never be simple, etc. We explain away the feelings of unease until the next sweet text, the next time he makes us smile. And suddenly, those feelings are no longer reality, just a distant memory.
And now, weeks, months, sometimes even years later, it’s finally over. Let’s be honest, we knew it was coming. It was just a matter of time. We knew that the idea of “us” has always been an impossible one. Unfortunately, that knowledge doesn’t make any of it any easier.
At first it’s easy to get lost in the anger. Quite frankly, it hurts less to be mad than it does to be sad. And honestly, you probably have every right to be angry. Somewhere along the way you were probably wronged, lied to, taken for granted. You likely gave your heart away to someone who never actually expected to give you theirs in return.
And then the sadness sets in. We get lost in the pain. We feel rejected and hurt. Question our own self-worth, hell bent on figuring out where exactly it all went wrong. It’s hard, I know. Not only are you saying goodbye to a partner and a friend, but just as painful is letting go of the picture in your head of all that was to come.
But then, finally, after the anger and the sadness, comes the feeling of relief. It might be fleeting at first. Just momentary flashes of clarity where you realize that trying to make it work would always be like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.
Eventually a little more time passes and those momentary flashes of relief turn into just relief -plain and simple.
You realize that you’re worth more than just being someone’s “almost”.
You realize, and better yet, you actually begin to believe that letting go of this almost relationship, this thing that was almost right, just makes that much more space in your life for something that actually is right – and how exciting is that?