And then there are the good days…
The days you can manage to put on a flawless face of makeup, and the thought of a taking a shower doesn’t sound challenging, but instead you play some music and stay in for a half an hour, feeling the water hit your face and accepting that you are alive.
You have made it another day. Today, isn’t a bad day, you are smiling and you don’t know why, and you’re breathing and it doesn’t feel hard.
Instead of muddling through your day, you make a steaming cup of coffee and realize that’s it never tasted better. You take the simplest pleasure in pouring the scalding hot coffee into your favorite mug, and as you look out the window, you smile, because the rain is creating a beautiful scape over your back lawn.
As you slide into the car, you take another moment to smile because even though you would have rather stayed in bed, you are on your way to start your day. A small victory to many, is a large success to you.
And when you finally come home, after a long day that didn’t feel quite as long as normal, you smile, because you are here, and in that moment you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. You decide to make a batch of your favorite cookies, because why not- what usually would seem like an impossible task to complete, seems like an exciting activity to you.
The smell of warm chocolate chip cookies spreads throughout the house, and you curl up on the couch with your red fuzzy blanket wrapped around you, and you smile, because you have made it.
A whole day.
And while there may have been glimpses of sadness, and worry- you are here. You are alive. You have made it.
You realize that there will be bad days, horrible heart wrenching days, where you can’t breathe and the thought of going on seems like an impossible feat, but then you will remember days like today where the rain made you smile. The rain, not the sun, but you, you found a reason to smile about the rain.