So you’ve been talking to a guy/girl you met online, and it’s going well. Texts are flirty and frequent, you discuss eventually meeting up, and you do that annoying cheesy smile-at-your-phone thing when you talk to them.
Or maybe you went on a first date with someone and it went well. Really well, actually. Sparks were flying everywhere and the chemistry was undeniable. You talked about meeting up again and lost track of time as you watched the bartenders call ‘Last Call.’
Hell, perhaps you even went out with this person a few times. Several dates. Lots of fun. PDA. Maybe even a sleepover. Real-life talks and gut-spillage. Things are looking promising. Shit, you actually think this one has potential.
…but then, you never hear from them again.
Yep, GHOSTED. Done. Sayonara. Your little friend has flown the damn coop. No explanation, no reasons, no apologies, no nothing. They’re just gone, and now you’re left over here trying to figure out what the hell happened.
If you ever find yourself in this scenario – and if you’re single, you likely will – here are some helpful tips on how to handle the dreaded Ghosting:
1. Sure, be upset or disappointed – but not for long.
Look, it sucks when something we’re excited about ends this way, but it doesn’t mean this was necessarily a perfect match. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise and the universe saved you from a big loser. Maybe you REALLY liked this person on Date 1 but on Date 2 you would’ve learned more and grown to hate them. It’s OK to be bummed, a little butt-hurt or even ego-bruised, but you can’t dwell on it. This was not meant to be.
2. Get pissed.
Ya know what? F*$k that guy/girl. They don’t wanna call YOU again? Whatever, they told you their favorite show was ‘Big Bang Theory’ so clearly they have horrendous taste. And honestly, do they think they’re BETTER than you or something? Cause they most certainly are not. They were lucky to even get your phone number let alone MEET you and they should be thankful you even gave them the chance. Good luck finding someone better…loser.
3. Laugh about it.
I was ghosted semi-recently and my girlfriends and I joked over dinner one night that the dude was OBVIOUSLY dead. He was super into me and couldn’t wait to see me again but somehow tragically died after we met and that was that. Clearly this wasn’t true (because Facebook stalking showed me he was, in fact, still alive) but making a big ole’ stupid joke out of it made the whole thing funnier and therefore not a big deal.
4. Don’t beat yourself up.
We’re all guilty of this, but if/when we get ghosted we tend to run through the entire ordeal to try and figure out where we went wrong. “Maybe he didn’t know I was kidding in that last text.” “Maybe I shouldn’t have told her I like One Direction.” “I KNEW I shouldn’t have gone out with him when I felt bloated!” Ugh, staaaaaahhhhhp. You could have been stood up for ANY reason; many of those reasons having *nothing* to do with you. Regardless, it’s not worth beating yourself up over. You’re amazing and this person didn’t see it. #ByeFelicia.
5. MOVE. ON.
It’s done. They’re just not that into you. It’s fine; it’s life. It goes on. Go back out there, meet someone else and have fun. Delete the Ghost’s contact info from your phone, wipe out the text convos, de-friend on social media and call it a damn day. They’re not worth the stress and aggravation of agonizing over it and overthinking every minute. C’est la vie.
So there you have it. Have you even been Ghosted? How’d you handle it? Let’s hear it in the comments!