You’ve seen it on television shows and in movies: Women get approached by men EVERYWHERE. All they need to do is leave their house and before they know it, Mr. Right shows up ready to sweep them off their unsuspecting feet.
So what exactly is the problem, fellow single ladies? Why are you always telling people that it’s difficult to meet men? It looks SO EASY on TV! Just follow the easy steps seen on your favorite shows and rom-coms and you’ll snag you a man in NO time. Here are some surefire ways to get it done:
1. Despise each other first.
Find a guy that you just straight-up cannot stand or be in the same room with. Maybe it’s a friend of a friend, the sibling of someone you know, or a coworker. Be totally repulsed and aggravated at his mere presence, bicker with him constantly, and tell everyone about your pure disdain for him. Eventually there’s going to be some significant event or poignant moment that occurs that’s going to make you two realize that you are, in fact, in love with each other. How friggin’ beautiful is that?!
2. Sit in a bar alone.
What? No, it’s not creepy. Why, you don’t do that? Men love seeing a mysterious woman sipping a cocktail at the bar by herself. They think to themselves: I’ve gotta go talk to that sad lonely woman over there. Perhaps I’ll have the bartender send her over a drink or I’ll slide into the stool right next to her and just start talking. I mean, sure, she’s ALONE which means she probably doesn’t want human contact or interaction right now, but she’s going to want it from me.
3. Be clumsy.
Ladies: hear me out. Dudes LOVE when women fall. Go outside and slip on some ice or lose your balance and just be adorably clumsy and uncoordinated. All of the hot single men out there are just WAITING for this opportunity to catch and save you. *Bonus points if you throw yourself in front of a car.
4. Go to the gym.
The question is, how are you *NOT* meeting guys at the gym? Seems like the easiest place to find a mate, if you ask me. You look super cute in your little workout outfit, you’re sweating but in a totally adorable and not-gross way, and the bright fluorescent lighting accentuates your beauty. I mean, you totally love the attention and ogling of an admirer watching you while you run on the treadmill or do squats by the mirror, and you DEFINITELY want to be approached in the middle of a workout. Besides, you’re not reallyyyy there to exercise; you came to meet some bros, right?!
5. Go solo to a wedding.
Weddings are the PERFECT place to meet men! You’re going to be the hot commodity at this wedding (no one cares about the bride) and a flock of unspoken-for gentleman are gonna be LINING up to meet you. What’s that? Not at the weddings YOU go to? That’s not possible! Haven’t you seen Wedding Crashers?! Weddings are perfect because they remind single people that they’re probably going to die alone and so they become desperate and panicked and therefore more likely to find love.
This all seems pretty simple to me. So what are you waiting for, ladies? Follow these steps and go find your man!