The Art Of Never Letting Go And Staying Broken

elizabeth.filips
elizabeth.filips

Step one
Convince yourself that it was never their fault
it was always yours to begin with
if only you observed a little more
cared a little less
expected nothing at all
maybe then they would have stuck around

Step two
Listen to their playlist
over and over and over again
because their presence is felt in every song
even long after they’ve been gone
listen to their playlist
over and over and over again
until you’ve overanalyzed every single goddamned lyric
until you’re sure that they’re all for you

Step three
Reread their messages
word after word
line after line
reread their messages
until the words are engraved in your mind
until the words are the melody you sing in the shower
until the words mutate into poetry

Step four
Check their horoscope
if your stars are aligned
if the stars are in your favor
if, may it be three weeks from now,
the stars will be in your favor
because the universe doesn’t lie
right?

Step five
get wasted
find yourself with someone else
florid
and inebriated
find yourself kissing someone else
contrite
and distracted
not by your screw of the night
but by the thought of them
I can’t kiss anyone else without thinking of you

Step six
Stay friends
because there’s nothing better
than loving without being loved in return
stay friends
assume and
believe you can be more than
just friends

Step seven
Daydream
throw what is in the trash
daydream about what was
and what could have been
dwell on what ifs
what if they told you how they really felt
what if they told you they loved you
what if they told you it wasn’t too late
what if they told you

Step eight
Repeat until you’ve completely wrecked yourself with illusions
repeat until you’ve completely wrecked yourself with the past
repeat until the next time your phone dings and their name shows
repeat until you’ve mastered the art of never letting go. TC mark

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