I Don’t Love You Anymore, But It Still Hurts To See You With Her

I don’t love you anymore, but deep down inside my heart aches every time I see you with her. Every time I see your photos of her, it reminds me of when it used to be me instead of her, how you used to hold me like you hold her, how you used to tell me that you love me but now that’s what you tell her. You were my first love, and my last, I was so stupid to have fallen for someone like you, you told me that you love me and I loved you back, we were such a perfect couple but yet behind my back you were slowly pushing a knife through my heart as you’ve spent the early mornings with some other girl.

You broke me, but I still forgive you after everything you’ve done, it took me years to recover, years of continuously doubting my self-worth and months of crying rivers for you. But someone like you could never truly love someone like me, I should’ve seen it coming, it was all my fault, never yours. I have never once blamed you for the scar you’ve left on my heart, because you still make me feel that I was never good enough, not good enough to be respected, not good enough to be treated the way I deserve to be, not good enough for you to care about me, but it wasn’t my choice to feel this insecure, you were only thinking of yourself. And how silly of me, to think that you’d be the one to piece me back together, little did I know you’d be the one to tear me apart.

But maybe it’s different with her, maybe you actually love her unlike your undeclared love for me, maybe you’d grow old together to see your grandchildren running around in your backyard while it reminds you of the good old days, while I’ll be long gone. What if she’s good enough for you? Will you still hurt a girl whose worth dying for? Or would you just play with her heart like you did with mine, maybe you were the fire in my life but I was made out of paper, we seemed like a perfect match, maybe that’s why we’ve burnt out. Maybe I didn’t deserve your love, but I’m just a hopeless romantic accepting love we think we deserve.

I hate myself now because of you, you’ve pushed me to the point where I can’t be saved. I begged for you to stay, but you’ve pushed me away. I never understood what I have ever done wrong, but maybe I don’t need to as all that was wrong was you.

I don’t love you anymore, at least that’s what I tell myself or so I thought.