woman putting hand in head

To The Version Of Myself I Failed To See So Long Ago

Do you ever want better? To feel good, comfortable in your own skin, taken back by your self-worth, confident in knowing you are growing into the person you always imagined yourself to be. Better knowing that you are real, you are alive, you are you, and that’s okay, it’s enough. Diving head first into your reality and what you’ve surrounded yourself with is just another layer to peel back from who you might have been last year or even yesterday. You can always wake up with new intentions for yourself. You have that power. Our mind consumes so much. We can never let that limit us. We have to train it sometimes and take back who’s in charge.

Everything you have been taught, what you’ve been told, can never take over what you know today. Seek your truth. What matters is how we feel inside. Discover what you might be hiding or tend to reveal in each moment. Are we being strong for no reason? Sometimes we don’t know any other way. Cry, mourn, walk, and seek any form of guidance to let the pressure of not ever being vulnerable off. Give yourself time to uncover the active emotions running through you. If you don’t, you only delay the process. Believe me, I would know. I have put more smiles on for people than I can even count, just so I could be the one they go to and lean on. We can’t always be the person everyone needs us to be, yet we can’t always sit in silence and be comfortable with everything we see. Speak up, ask for more, say no to anything that pulls you down, and spend time on things that help you grow.

How many times have we heard that it gets easier? I know it’s been said and overplayed over the years. It’s definitely made me less prepared for what was to come. However, I found words that could maybe help me more. I started to go over phrases that didn’t carry much healing but still have every good intention. When giving advice, it may not always sit well with the person receiving it, since by now we have learned we definitely don’t cope with things the same. Instead of going off of everything you have heard before, learn to listen more. Even listen to yourself. How do you react to certain situations? How do you handle yourself? How can you be an advocate for helping people if you don’t look within? It’s all part of what makes up the best part of who we are ready to be. A version of yourself that could never replace who you once were but an extension of how much more you deserve.

Now let’s get into something I have been talking about for about five or six years now: how manifesting and believing that what you want and believe in matters. It’s a priority. It’s not selfish, but it is about you. Will this happen overnight? Of course not. It’s not an experiment; it’s not a test, it’s in you. Think of it as something you do every day. Let’s take yoga, for instance. You practice it, you dig deep, you go after your goals, and you keep reaching. Well, the same goes for putting thought into work, relationships, and your dreams. Our circumstances may not ever align with each other. We may not have the same opportunities, but I will always hope that your mind and kindness can help you see straight toward your future.

We definitely will still have our daily challenges. Some may be far worse than others. We have to respect that. Take small strides and remain humble. For example, the little things you remind yourself of, like feeling good enough to just look at yourself and see the reflection of someone who feels pain but doesn’t let it get them down. Someone who feels neglected but doesn’t let the negativity make them seem worthless. Someone who feels drawn back by every mistake but doesn’t let it stop them from moving forward. Someone who knows every flaw but embraces them all and falls in love because of them. This side of you has been there, it just needs a little work. It’s always been you, but you may just have to take a second to really look.

I believe this self-journey is meant to find what’s really important. Stop fantasizing about what everyone else is doing and what everyone else expects you to look like and be part of your change. Features are just the outside piece of what is part of something so much bigger. There is more to get to know the more you know. Dig deeper, ask questions, and spend time alone. Travel to places that you never imagined, discover what makes up your soul, and just enjoy the journey it takes to get there.

About the author
I am a passionate, over energized, loving soul who cares way too much. Follow Alexis on Instagram or read more articles from Alexis on Thought Catalog.

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