I Am Worth More Than Your Sugar-Coated Words

Your words are not necessary anymore, your action says it all.

“I’m scared to lose you.”

I’ve heard this way too much before, but I realized that words sound more meaningful when they’re intended for you. And just like that, I willingly let myself fall so hard again. I have learned my lessons the hard way and I have come to terms with myself not to let my fears get in the way. And after all, “Oh wells” do sound better than “what ifs”, don’t they?

“I’m scared to lose you.”

You meant this, didn’t you? So why did you start acting otherwise?
“I’m scared to lose you.”

But everything’s easier said than done. You were afraid of losing me but what else did you do? Did I get my hopes too high? Was I wrong to ever think that after all those words, maybe, just maybe, your actions would follow? I think I’ve waited long enough for something that is going to happen.

Whenever I decide to walk away, you always knew the right things to say. You knew the right buttons to push to shut me up and to make me love you even better. It almost felt like taking a road that leads to a dead-end but I chose to take it anyway, because it’s not always about the destination, hell yes, it’s about the journey. But man, this journey is not even worth it anymore.

Until this very end, you were all words and your words don’t mean anything to me anymore. Your words were what I first fell for, but somehow I hoped you had something more, because more than just words that satisfy my ears, I realized that I wanted something for my soul. And I gave you all the chances you asked for, I have nothing to give anymore.

Maybe all I was waiting for was for it to come from you, to tell me to stop holding on but I guess you will never have that courage because after all, you only have the guts to say the words that make women fall. But your words are not necessary anymore, your action says it all.

“I’m scared to lose you.”

I am terrified of not having you too, but I can’t wait for you no more. This is for all the decisions you never made, for the commitment you never gave, for the things you said and didn’t say.

I am worth more than just your sugar-coated words. I deserve the kind of love that is apparent even unspoken. I deserve more than just you asking me to come back every time I walk away, I deserve someone who doesn’t do anything to push me away. This is not the happy ending that I imagined, honestly I never thought there would be an end. So maybe this is my happy ending, me without you, finally realizing my worth, trying to pick up my broken pieces and embracing the lessons you’ve made me learn the hardest and most painful way.