Dear 20-Somethings: It’s (More Than) Okay To Be Single

Flickr / Saïda
Flickr / Saïda

I wish someone would have told me that turning 20 would add all these expectations I have for myself when it comes to the hot mess we call life. I’m here to tell you what I’ve learned from the nights agonizing over why I don’t have a relationship right now.

1. It’s okay to work on yourself.

Just because you don’t have a significant other right now does not mean that you are considered a lesser human being. Being single might just make you a better catch in the long run, because you’re working on developing who you are. And really, how can you be happy with another person before understanding your own likes and dislikes?

2. Emotions are overwhelming.

I can barely deal with my own daily rollercoaster of emotions, let alone having to deal with another human being and their typical brand of mood swings. This is one of the only times in our lives where we can be completely selfish and don’t have to worry about the well being of another person. Embrace the situation you are in for its pros. Such as being able to have the whole bed to yourself, and going out dancing till the crack of dawn without having to worry about a significant other getting jealous. We need to start loving our single lives, instead of wishing for something we think would make us happier.

3. You don’t have to settle.

The typical relationship… if it can even be called that of 2015, is the friends with benefits, or random hookup we met on tinder. It’s okay to wait for a real grown up relationship. When asking a potential date out actually go out for lunch or dinner instead of “Netflix and chill”. We need to stop being so lazy with love. Our hearts will thank us in the long run for understanding the importance of a real relationship that is built on friendship and trust.

4. Your time will come.

Being single is not going to be the rest of your life. As my mom always says to me, “You’re going to be coupled for a very long time.” Our 20s are for learning, jobs, and figuring out the real world. Adding love and a relationship into that mix is just asking to be overwhelmed. The right time for a relationship will come, and probably after you stop agonizing over why you aren’t in a relationship. TC mark

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