I am more than just my anxiety. Despite how often it seems to consume my entire being. I know you know that and I appreciate you for knowing it. The problem is I focus on being more than just my anxiety so often and so much, that sometimes I try to pretend it just isn’t there at all. You do it too. Not of any fault of your own. You are following my lead.
Don’t make a big deal out of it. Don’t talk about it.
And you try your best to do these things to help me, support me- be there for me.
The truth is I think I NEED to be my anxiety sometimes.
I need to accept that it is a part of me and it is here. More importantly I need you to do the same. I need it do be seen and heard and discussed.
Every day I tell myself it might be the day that peace of mind comes. It could be the day that nothing makes me anxious. The day I get to be normal- like you. Many days have gone and come in my life and it never happens. It might not ever happen and that’s okay! I’ve decided that it has to be okay for my sanity, and maybe yours too. Let’s stop waiting for that day, friend. When I got anxious over walking into the movie theatre last night it WAS normal. Normal for me, and normal for you to witness. And it was okay.
I’m not saying it was great, and I’m not saying it was ideal, but it was normal for me. I got through it and everything was okay, but the end of the tunnel, when I calmed down, that isn’t when it started to be okay. It was okay from the moment my breath first caught in my chest. It was okay when I turned around and walked back outside to think. It was okay when I took deep breaths until I began to relax. And it was okay when I finally walked back inside, head held high.
Friend, thank you for knowing I am not JUST my anxiety. But let’s be honest… I have anxiety; it’s a part of me, and that’s okay.