The 4 Stereotypical Guys I’ve Met On OKCupid

Knocked Up
Knocked Up

1. The Douchebag Player Who is Too Lazy to Find Sex at His Own School

He isn’t even that good looking but he’s everything you experienced from the guys you dated in high school except worse.  Still immature and unaware of what the word respect means but somehow still charming and appealing, for the first ten minutes.  He’s the guy who will text you telling you how he just wants to cuddle you and how cute you are but when you hang out, no longer wants to go out anywhere but “let’s just watch something on Netflix”.  Of course, you give in because well you were stupid enough to invite him to your place to begin with and you somehow think he may just want to cuddle.  But then, he kisses you like expected when all of a sudden he tries to pull off your clothes and when you tell him you don’t want to sleep with him, he merely begs and keeps trying.  These are the guys that either make you get offline altogether or stand up for yourself and draw lines in the beginning of things, most likely still convincing you that all guys only want you for sex.

2. The Incredibly Awkward Guy

This is the guy who is clearly using this website because he has absolutely no game in person.  It’s adorable on some level because you can’t help but feel his pain but when he can’t look you in the eye after 20 minutes of conversation, you start to look for an easy out.  He most likely won’t ask you any questions or initiate a topic of conversation unless you start it first and within 10 minutes you will have heard about his major four times too many.  You can ask him about his interests ten times and he won’t be able to come up with anything even though you already stalked his facebook and saw how into Pokemon and video games he really is (which by the way is totally cool, just share it with me so we’re not awkwardly sitting on a park bench talking about every dog that walks by because no other conversation can be made).  BEWARE…if not handled cautiously, he will assume that you are incredibly into him too and ask you out again which should be handled kindly but firmly or you will have a puppy dog at your side.

3. The Outgoing, Charming Guy Who Seriously Makes You Question Why He Even Went on the Site in the First Place (Which Obviously Makes You Question Why You Went on the Site in the First Place )

This is the guy who is charming from the moment you meet him, takes you out to a nice place and makes you feel completely okay with the fact that you met him online.  As you’re sitting drinking wine and having wonderful conversation, you slowly start to question what is secretly wrong with him that he had to go online to find a date which obviously makes you freak out because what is wrong with you that you had to go online to find a date.  You automatically start running through the list of your personality traits and finding your flaws that made you turn to OkCupid because no ones asked you out face to face since um well high school?  Either this or you’re just going to assume he must be the CraigsList Killer reinvented as the OkCupid Killer and that you best not go out with him again because what guy is this charming that goes online for a date right?

4. The Guy Who I’m Actually Into 

This is the guy that makes you actually feel like a relationship can come from online dating.  You are completely compatible and the whole time you’re hanging out, you’re laughing and enjoying each others company.  It’s a truly great time until he says he’ll text you soon about doing something this weekend but then two days pass and he hasn’t texted you so you just give up on dating and go back to ice cream and watching TV online in bed until 3 AM. TC mark

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