I must have written you at least 50 letters that I never sent, but this one is different because it’s probably my last. A couple days ago, I learned that you and your girlfriend (that used to be my friend) are now living together. When I was with you, I would have given everything for us to move in together, but you never wanted to. You refused to see me for days in a row, but she’s now sharing your bed every night. This was the final smack in the face for me to realize what I never wanted to admit: She’s more important to you than I was.
Last night, I dreamed that I was making peace with you and her. I think the universe was telling me that I finally graduated from breakup school and that it was time to start my new life away from the ruins of our relationship.
I loved you so much and I don’t anymore, but you’ll always have a place in my heart because you were my first love. I still remember what it felt like to love you—the butterflies every time your name popped on my phone and the stars in my eyes every time I saw you. I will never forget the beautiful way I felt when everyone told us we were meant to meet. However, it was never meant to last, and in a split second, you left without any explanation and without looking back. I was left to pick up the pieces of my broken heart while you were gone on another adventure.
It hurts to admit, but I still miss you. I miss the sweet guy that made me fall in love.
I still miss the guy who made me laugh the most.
I still miss the guy who was so proud to be with me.
I still miss the guy who made me feel so special.
And I still miss the guy who was my first love.
However, I deserve to move on and not be consumed with hate or sadness.
I deserve to wake up with a light heart and be happy to start a new day.
I deserve to go out and enjoy a girls’ night without being afraid to bump into you.
I deserve to meet someone who will always be there.
I deserve love at its purest.
With all my love,