Read This After Your First Breakup

I was in your place not too long ago; on May 6, 2019, my boyfriend broke up with me. It destroyed me completely. That’s when I realized how cruel people can be.

At that time, I wished I could have a broken leg instead, because with painkillers and in 6 to 8 weeks, it would have been over. Heartbreaks are the worst because only time heals—time is your best friend but your worst enemy at the same time.

I know you thought they were the love of your life, and right now you’re probably romanticizing everything and telling everyone how the breakup blindsided you because everything was perfect. It might have blindsided you but it wasn’t perfect, because if that were the case, you’d still be together.

First of all, take a deep breath and focus on the current moment. I know you’re probably having a hard time breathing, but you will be okay. Then cry, scream, punch a pillow, or run as fast as you can. Let it out—don’t keep everything inside.

Please do me a favor and don’t go on dating apps right now. Take the time to grieve. I know it’s hard to find yourself completely alone, but trust me, being alone for a little while is better than giving yourself to the first moron who crosses your path. When my ex broke up with me, I told my good friend I didn’t want to be alone, and she told me that she had been single for nine months and it was fine. It scared me because being single for nine months seemed like nine years to me. Now I have been single for nine months and she was right, it’s fine. I won’t lie, it’s tough at first to wake up without the good morning texts and not having someone there all the time, but if they broke up with you, as cliché as it sounds, it wasn’t meant to be.

Being single gave me the time to reflect on my relationship, to realize how much I put up with my ex, what I did wrong, and how I never want to settle for less again. Being single gave me an extra push to go to school and focus on it 100% because I had no other distraction. Being single made me excited for girls’ night again. Being single gave me a reason to meet new people I would have never met if I were still with my ex. Being single made me appreciate being home alone. It made me realize how much I hate going out every weekend and how I much prefer staying home with a homemade cocktail. Being single made me appreciate myself.

Also, don’t freak out—you’ll meet someone new. I’m no psychic, so I can’t tell you when or how, but you will. I promise.

Use this breakup to start fresh and new. When my ex broke me, I used it to build myself up from rock bottom, and I love the person I am today. Painful endings are always disguised as new beginnings. Remember: It’s only the beginning of your beautiful life.

Dog mother. Writer. Happy lover

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