Thank You For Showing Me That I Don’t Need Anybody Else To Be Happy

I was barely over some fuckboy when I met you, the guy that, unbeknownst to me, would break me completely a year later. I was ready to be single and finally be happy on my own when you came into my life. Our mutual friend invited me to your birthday party, and she wanted to introduce me to your good friend, but when I got there, you ultimately caught my eye because you were cute, funny, and so loud.

The next day, you talked to me on Facebook (I still can’t delete that conversation). You invited me to your place, and usually I would have said no, but I said yes because I already trusted you. On our very first date, I met your parents, and they ultimately treated me like their own. What was supposed to be a first date turned into a one year relationship. I didn’t want to admit that I was falling for you, but everyone knew because I had stars in my eyes and I was always happy. You introduced me to your family, to your friends, and to your life. I was completely smitten by you, and I couldn’t believe that the universe finally heard my prayers about a good guy. Your parents were so happy that you were with a girl like me and your friends adopted me as their own, but it didn’t last long.

After six months, I discovered your true personality. You were a teenager stuck in a 24-year-old’s body, a party boy that put EVERYONE else before me. I stayed because I loved you and because I don’t give up that easily. I gave you so many chances and it ended up draining me; I developed anxiety, and I was always sad and disappointed, but I didn’t want to leave because you were the only person that made me feel special.

Four months later, you broke up with me. Actually, you didn’t just break up with me, you abandoned me. You left me and never looked behind you. You never cared if I was okay. Instead, you turned all of our friends against me and acted like I never existed.

Do you know what happened after you left me? I had panic attacks every morning before going to work. I stopped eating for two weeks. I cried myself to sleep every night, praying that you would come back. I found myself completely alone, and I was sure I would never be happy again.

Then something happened—the rose-colored glasses came off and I fell out of love with you. It didn’t happen overnight, but I finally saw that you breaking up with me was the best thing that happened to me. I felt so relieved, because how can you love someone that hurt you so much? I was finally able to fill the void that you left in my heart.

I became myself again, I went back to school and made new friends that helped me so much during that difficult period. I started laughing again. I started hanging out with friends again. I became happy again.

Thank you for teaching me how to be strong when I had nobody.

Thank you for teaching me how to climb back to the surface when I was stuck at the bottom of the ocean.

Thank you for breaking my trust, which made me realize that not everyone wants you to be happy.

Thank you for abandoning me so I could become more independent.

Thank you for being so cruel, which made me fall out of love with you.

Thank you for everything, because now I see your rejection as a redirection.

Thank you for showing me that I don’t need anybody else to be happy—I have myself.

If you read this and think you will never be over him, you’re wrong, I know it sucks to hear this, but give yourself some time, and when you wake up one morning, you’ll realize you’re over him.

About the author
Dog mother. Writer. Happy lover Follow Alexe on Instagram or read more articles from Alexe on Thought Catalog.

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