When you’re used to people ghosting you, you’re hard on yourself because you ultimately assume you’re the problem because you’re the ghostee—you’re the dumpee.
When you begin to date someone new, you’re already anticipating the ending, the ghosting, the “it’s not you, it’s me.” You can’t even enjoy the first stage of dating because you don’t want to get attached.
When you begin to date someone new and they take a bit more time to answer, your anxiety will tell you they’re ghosting you when in fact they’re busy at work. If they arrive a bit late to the date, you’ll ultimately imagine them with someone else, already forgetting about you when in fact they’re stuck in traffic. Your anxiety will constantly annoy you with the fact that you will eventually be ghosted. You can’t even enjoy the butterflies or getting to know this person because you think you’re not worth it.
When you’re used to being ghosted, you’ll never talk about future events with your new partner because you’re scared they’ll run away. You’ll think about every word before saying it because you’re scared of saying the wrong thing. I was like that before, always thinking before talking because I didn’t want to seem weird or too honest with my date. But if they’re here to stay, they won’t care that you do cosplay or that you have a piece of salad in your teeth—they will like you for you.
You’ll be scared when this person seems genuine or when they want to introduce you to their family. You’re scared because if you get attached, the ghosting will hurt too much.
Truth is, the wrong people will leave or ghost or you, but the right ones will stay. Repeat it to yourself: The right people will stay. If someone leaves or ghosts you, it says nothing about you but a lot about them.