She knew it in her heart. She felt in her feet. She needed to get out of here. She needed to see the world for what it was and not for what she had heard. She was a feeler which meant she needed to experience whatever it was to understand it for herself. Understand what exactly was missing from her story. Because something was missing.
And the opportunities she was given were endless. She knew she had a chance to do something great. Something powerful. But she had to give it up to get back to herself. To fully experience exactly who she was going to be. And that meant blocking out all of the words that were keeping her planted in one spot. Because roots aren’t for everyone.
People won’t get it either. They’ll question every decision. They’ll put their fears and worries on her. They’ll bog her down with their opinions. And while it’s out of love and concern, their unnecessarily painful opinions weren’t warranted. Because she wasn’t dumb. She knew what she needed to do and she was going to do it. No ifs, ands, or buts.
There are a lot of people who won’t understand the true wanderlust lifestyle.
They’ll say they suffer from this potent syndrome without fully understanding what it means to wander. To wander means to leave everything behind for however long you need to go. It’s not 5 star resorts and living like royalty, it’s suffering through low paying jobs just to be able to live somewhere different. It’s not a romantic sunset walk on the beach every night without the evidence of the dirt and grime under the finger nails during the day. Everything is hard work but with hard work comes great reward.
She wasn’t naïve to the moments that were coming. The big ones that were going to have her choose things she never thought she was going to have too. She never thought that the lonely could get as real and so very deep as it has been. But she knew that this was leading to somewhere that she needed to be in order to hear her soul that was crying out to her recently.
She knew that happiness was in reach but had no idea how to get there. While people were telling her she was foolish, she managed to block it out. She managed to hear that little voice that was coming from her heart. It was reminding her that she was strong. That she could do this. That she was making the decision she wanted.
It was her life and she was done with feeling like she wasn’t living it her way.
If she ever had to come home. If she ever had to give up on her journey that had taken her down this beautifully terrifying path. She’d know that it what was right for her in that moment. She would know because her soul and her heart would tell her.
And she knew people would talk. Would think that she gave up. Would think she couldn’t make it because they knew her gypsy lifestyle would eventually see her dropped back on her doorstep. Maybe even in some ways she’d feel a little embarrassed.
But she would never go home because it was the easy decision. She would go because it was the right one. Just like it was the right one to leave. Because sometimes all wandering can give you is a little perspective. The kind you wouldn’t get from your couch.
People judge things they don’t understand. And what they won’t understand is that this isn’t some flighty journey she needed because she was running away. No. This was more than that. And what, they may never understand, is how much strength it takes to leave everything you’ve ever known behind. It’s scary. It’s not a decision made lightly. It isn’t some frivolous attempt to just never settle down.
Some people feel the wanderlust so deep in their bones that it’s just who they are. It’s how they were made. They were made to see so many things that some of us can’t even fathom. And those people, they deserved to be commended not condemned. Supported not undermined.
She knew she had to go because she needed to be happy with herself. So fuck the rest. She was going to do what she felt instead of listening to the doubts.
She was the only one who she needed to impress anyway.