It’s a tricky feeling you know? Trying to figure out when to give the person you love space and when to smoother them in all the love you have. Giving someone space is one of those things we think that we learn at a young age but as we get older we discover that with texting and social media we’re not really ever getting the space we need.
And we all need space. Space to deal with what we’re going through. Space to know if what we’re doing is right. Space to just find ourselves. And when you’re with someone, giving them space isn’t exactly a decision that’s easily made. We often find ourselves trying to hold them as tight as possible because allowing them to even breathe something different would mean the end for us.
But that isn’t true. Letting someone go and find themselves doesn’t mean we’re losing them. It means we’re letting them grow into the person they need to become. And maybe your love will change but more than likely it will be for the better. Because holding someone tightly until they suffocate will more likely make them resent you instead of love you.
All we want to do is hold them closer when they want to explore and leave because we need them. And that’s OK. It’s OK to feel scared when we feel change because change is fucking scary.
No one looks at change as something that’s easy and if they do then they’re not actually experiencing change.
Just like we have to sometimes let our loved ones go we ourselves have to go explore. To see the world and find out what it has to offer us. What we want and what we don’t going forward all leads back to what we discover about ourselves in times that are silent.
Silence, though scary, is our friend. It’s the friend that forces us to listen to what our thoughts and inner desires have been trying to tell us. It’s the friend that gives the sweet relief you sometimes need so desperately. It’s also sometimes the loneliest thing in our life.
But we need it. We need to enjoy the silence and learn from it. We need to listen to what our brains are trying to tell us in those most honest moments. We have to decide whether or not we need to listen more so in order to find ourselves or just to take a minute and breathe.
And we need to let go.
We need to let ourselves let go of the people we love because they will come back if they’re meant to. That trust is the hardest of them all. Holding onto something so tight and hoping they don’t go. But if they’re meant to then they will. It’s the way that it works.
I know how it feels to let someone go that you love deeply and I also know how it feels when they decide to not come back. It’s because that was their path and their destiny while mine is completely separate.
It’s hard to not get lost inside someone else’s world and not completely lose sight of your own. But you do need a path of your own. You should walk with yourself and know that person before giving everything to another. You alone are enough and you will enhance someone else’s life with your own passion for yours.
So embrace change. Learn from it. Love it. Ultimately you’ll grow from it.