I want you to drag your finger tips from the top of my shoulder, past my forearm until you stop at my fingertips. I want to feel the electricity that comes from your touch. Body on body. The ultimate feeling of vulnerability. The best high that we as humans can experience. I want that rush again.
It’s an addiction. A longing. A want so deep that it keeps me up at night. When you run your hands through my hair and my eyes close is when I know that I don’t want you to stop. It’s a moment so pure that replication just doesn’t exist. There’s something in your eyes that make me realize that this is more than recreational. It’s a deep seeded need.
I want to be your fix. Something you crave so badly that you can’t help but reach for your phone any time of the night to call me. You need the temporary high just like I do.
If it continues it’ll be a bad habit that neither of us can kick.
Sometimes you meet someone and the connection so raw, so authentic that you can’t deny it. When you stand close to them you feel your fingers start to burn. You just want to run a thumb across their cheek. You want to grab their wrists and pin them against the wall. When they look deep into your eyes you’d swear they’re burning a hole in your soul. One that will always scream their name.
This kind of raw attraction is rare. It’s so rare I swear it’s primal. It’s the kind of attraction that makes you desire nothing else. You wonder if it’s going to feel that good again. And then it does feel that good again.
You try to act normal because that’s all you can do to keep going with your life but your daydreams always bring you back to that person. You know one more taste is going to be so bittersweet because it’s not love and you know that. You know deep down inside that this person isn’t the one but they definitely are a one. One that can stay as long as they want.
The temptation will always find you. It’s one you want to resist because you know in order to get out of this without any attachments or cracks, you have to stay strong. You have to keep your distance. Distance is good. Distance allows your mind to fully comprehend that you can feel this with someone else. Someone who’s permanent rather than temporary. Even though you wish it wasn’t temporary.
Think about how even though this is what you’re craving right now that it too shall pass.
I’ve always been good at hiding those feelings. Those passionate feelings that sit in the pit of my stomach like a fire ready to explode but when someone ignites that fire there’s no denying it. But instead of letting the fire consume me, I’m going to let it slowly burn out until it’s no longer there. Until I find something permanent instead of temporary.