You Give Me Butterflies And I Hope They Never Go Away

Lydia Brooks
Lydia Brooks

I don’t know if I could ever give you anything as amazing as what you’ve done for me. When you walked in that night at the pub with your friends and sat down at the table with my friends and me, I gave you no credit. I had written you off before you even began to speak even though your blue eyes shook me to the core. I was coming off one bad almost relationship, a confusing hook up and had just recently been sent a Snapchat of my ex and his new squeeze. Combine that with my new “I don’t give a fuck attitude” I really wasn’t exactly a peach.

But it took you two small gestures to make my hard shell melt into putty onto the floor. Not only did you make sure I was taken care of, you were genuinely interested in things I had to say. You asked me about each one of my tattoos, complimenting the story behind all of them. You got me water when my stomach started to turn after the fourth highball I had chugged. You gave me butterflies I thought had long flown away.

I’m a talker but when I meet someone new I usually like to get to the core of them and deflect those hard personal questions. You wouldn’t let me do that though. You answered my questions but then twisted it around so that I was the one doing most of the secret revealing. When I told my mom, she was even shocked when I admitted that you had gotten to see parts of me no one had taken a look at for a while.

Not only are you physically beautiful, your soul is one of those things that unicorns are made from. I have a great father and brother, so I know what good men look like and how they act but I had forgotten that outside of my immediate family these men existed too. You, sir, are one of those amazing men. You did things for me not because you wanted to get into my pants but because you wanted to ensure that I was OK.

You managed to make me feel beautiful even without saying the words (though you did that too). When you left that night and gave me just a hug with no expectations of more, my heart jumped into my throat. I was ready for you to turn complete fuckboy but you didn’t and for that I owe you an apology.

I actually owe you a ton of apologies but the biggest one is that I judged you before I had even gotten to know you. The next day I was ready to run into you and have one of those awkward small talk conversations but again you blew me away when you wanted to know how I was doing. Then you hit me with a knockout punch when you started to ask me more personal questions.

It’s funny because these things may sound so little to you and I know they do because when I told you how much I appreciated everything you did, you shrugged and smiled like it was no big deal. But it was a big deal to me. You were even stoked when I gave you my card when I was waiting for a lukewarm reception.

While I have no idea which way things are going to go, I do know this. You give me that warm and fuzzy feeling in my stomach that I haven’t been able to access for a while. Whatever happens you’ve restored my faith that great men exist and that I should never, ever judge someone before I get to know them. You’ve restored my faith in men, and made me a better person. So thank you. You’re the best. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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