Life

Read This When You Can’t Stop Beating Yourself Up About Your Past

It’s easy to look back.

To think of a moment in the past, compare it to now, and laugh it off.

To diminish today’s efforts with yesterday’s defeats.

To bring yourself back to a time when things were “so simple.”

To feel consumed with the struggles of tomorrow, somehow forgetting you’ve been in much worse than this.

To dismiss the different and the out of reach for the safe and sheltered.

To hide from the unexpected because your past seems to play out your tragedies.

To constantly tell yourself, “If only I knew then what I know now.”

To allow a faded version of some bits and pieces your mind pulls together to depict an illusive vision and present itself as the truth.

Of course it’s easy. Thinking back, we get so swept away in the big image that the minor details fall short. Our memories are completely out of focus. We forget who we were with. The thoughts that raced through our minds. The scenery that collected together around us. The emotions that were painted on our faces. All the intricacies that came together to make that moment a reality versus what our mind can recall.

The hard part is looking ahead past the dark. Keeping your head up when the force of it all feels too much. Reminding yourself you have more to give. Pushing forward just one more mile. Waking up to a fresh start. A new beginning. Leaving yesterday in the past. Constantly creating a better version of yourself FOR yourself. Making your way into the beautifully, uncomfortably unknown and welcoming it with open arms. Finally allowing yourself to come to terms with it all. Realizing that every moment rushing at you is rather a gift being placed in front of you.

It’ll be hard now. It’ll be hard today. It may be hard this week. Maybe even this entire year. But then, eventually, it won’t.

Eventually all those tiny threads of detail will become undone once more. The canvas will seem a bit hazy. The actors will disappear out of sight, and it’ll return to being just another scene in that one film. Eventually this too will be a memory, nothing more than a moment from a “simpler time.” TC mark

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I love potatoes but I don’t wish to be one. Balance is key. Follow Alexandra on Instagram or read more articles from Alexandra on Thought Catalog.

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