1. You base your self-worth on how many likes you get.
You know exactly the type of person I’m talking about. The one who posts a picture on Instagram, and then spends the next hour watching people like it. And then texting all their friends to go check out the photo because they didn’t get enough likes the first go-around. Oh, and you better believe if it doesn’t hit at least a couple hundred by day’s end the photo is getting deleted.
2. You get anxious when you haven’t posted in over a day.
God forbid you disappoint your followers. You start blaming your friends, family, and whatever else you spent your time doing for not being interesting enough and thus bringing down your online persona. What if people start unfollowing? What if your follower-to-following ratio goes all out of whack?!
3. You strongly believe there’s no point in doing something if you can’t get a solid Insta out of it.
Naturally. Why even eat if it’s not going to look good in a photo? Why dress up if you can’t make people feel bad about looking better than them? And what on earth is the point of travelling if you can’t bombard everyone’s newsfeed with “candid” photos of you bikini-clad in Miami?
4. People who know you don’t even recognize your life online.
I can’t even express how many times I’ve been on the profiles of people I like, and even those of some I dislike, and have found myself thinking, “WHO IS THIS FABULOUS BEING?” Let’s be straight, if you’re getting more love in your comments section than you are in your day-to-day relationships, you’re doing something wrong.
5. You’re skeptical of how cool the people you stalk on Instagram really are.
This is the curse of anyone who’s managed to build a profile that makes their life seem exponentially more interesting than it really is. You dissect everyone else’s photos, seeing the patterns, techniques, and general social-climbing strategies they’ve put into their feed. You’ll never admit to doing the same yourself, but you’ll most definitely tell anyone who will listen how fake everyone is on Instagram.