Go back to a time where you felt inseparable from your emotions. What was the trigger? Did your boss pick and pry at you to get your work done faster? Did your in-laws say something to you that really pissed you off? There are thousands of triggers that can hit us at any given moment, where we wish we could just let it roll off our shoulders and move on with our days as if nothing happened. Unfortunately, that is an unrealistic expectation. Just as unrealistic as the thought that life could ever be perfect. Sounds pessimistic yes, but it is the truth. The acknowledgement of this imperfect life at the end of the day is not as important, as how we handle the triggers that cause negative emotions and make life not so ideal all the time.
As we grow older, wiser, and strap more experiences onto our belts it’s easy to expect more out of ourselves than what we really should. It’s okay to strive to be the strongest person that you can possibly be emotionally, and of course physically.
But don’t forget that we are human, the invisible armor we wear around cannot protect us from everything that life can hit us with.
We can try to prepare ourselves for even the worst, but no one can gaze into a crystal ball and know exactly what negative occurrence has yet to come.
That is why everybody needs a mechanism to release the weight on their shoulders. Personally, I was definitely guilty of believing I had that impenetrable armor, but as much as I didn’t want to admit it to myself, each frustration began seeding one after another in my mind. Trust me if you don’t find that effective coping mechanism for yourself, then before you know it a thousand pounds will be crashing down on your shoulders and everything will just seem unbearable.
So what do we know? We know ignoring our pain is never the answer. The next question you’ll be asking is always what is the correct answer? People always think they have the solution or at least one that they know works for them. They say “go work out you’ll feel so much better afterwards.” Some of you are like me you’d say: “No, actually I hate working out and I always feel way more exhausted afterwards.” So, wrong. Other times you may hear “Why don’t you paint or draw a picture, it’s very soothing.”
Realistically speaking, I know I’m the furthest from artistic. So again, Wrong. I am not saying those are not great hobbies that can do the trick, but they certainly cannot do the trick for everyone. However, let’s all recognize that we do in fact all have a common union that helps us get our feelings out there on the table. That is the greatest remedy I assure you.
No one is saying you have to call someone and spill the beans (unless you want to). But, at least take some time and write your thoughts and feelings down. Get it all out, every last bit of it. Write a story, or even write a list of everything bothering you. Just acknowledge it, I promise that alone will go a long way and work wonders. Truthfully, I’ve always been steered away from writing most of my life. As children, it seemed like a chore. We went through school and constantly had to write reports, essays, and just waited for our grades to return. Do not let this part of all of our pasts deter you.
I was never a writer, in fact I hated the idea of doing it until one day I took someone’s advice about writing out my feelings and it changed my life. I’m going to say it again and I’m not kidding, it changed my life. I used to have all this pent up anger and these frustrations that I had no idea how to channel. I started by writing everything, and I mean everything that bothered me. Even the way I used to drink alcohol and binge eat in attempt to momentarily numb the real issues.
Writing each issue out on paper allowed me to let the negativity flow out in a way that no other activity could possibly do.
Other activities and hobbies I noticed everyone doing to cope seemed to feel numbing, but nothing quite addresses the issues and hits nail on the head quite like writing does.
Next time you get hit with that trigger and start to feel yourself penting up, find a quiet place without any distractions to allow your mind to organize the unwanted emotions. It’s okay to start with a racing mind, teary eyes, or clenched fists that just don’t seem to budge. You need to accept these feelings and really pinpoint why you’re feeling this way. Get it all out on paper whether you feel better writing it or typing it. Slowly you should start to feel the weight come off your shoulders, and it will help you find peace deep within yourself. What you decide to do with your work is 100% your decision. Sometimes it might feel good to rip it up in a million little pieces, or watch it burn away before you dispose of it so no one will ever need to hear or find out how you’re feeling.
If it needs to be your own little secret, it can always be safe when you write. Maybe instead you save it because its an excellent way to portray your feelings in a way words could never do and that helps yourself or even the communication in your relationships. Do not hesitate for a second about perhaps getting your thoughts out there into the world. Dare to share it online if you’re ready. I highly encourage you to write articles and give advice to people in your shoes. They may not be in your shoes at the moment, but instead later in the future.
Your writing is not a voice that just vanishes after it is spoken. It is written out where the reader could access it at any time it is needed. Nothing feels better than knowing that you are not alone with your feelings, and knowing that your voice can be heard. At the same time it is incredibly powerful seeing how it can change other’s lives just like it changed yours. That is why I highly encourage everyone to start writing. It can save your life and someone else’s. Give it a try, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Your inner peace is totally worth it.