Okay, But Love Yourself First

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Aziz Acharki / Unsplash

Love.

Such a simple, yet overly complicated word, expression, emotion, and concept.

Loving yourself…now that’s another story. Loving yourself isn’t as easy as 1, 2, 3. Trust me, In my 24 years of living I’ve only just recently begun my journey through self-love, and understanding what it truly means to commit to self-love above all else.

Self-love is something I’ve learned to become extraordinarily passionate about and something I genuinely feel the need to talk about with the world. It’s something that has affected my life immensely. I’ve witnessed too many people allowing lust, temptation, and settling to lead their lives; too many people searching for meaning and worth within another individual; too many people putting their dreams and aspirations aside or on hold for something far less than what they deserve. I’ve heard too many stories of women and men being taken advantage of emotionally and physically. I’ve sat in the front row of a live-stream heartbreak for numerous individuals who were left feeling lost in life due to putting a relationship before themselves, their mental/physical health, their family/friends, their dreams/passions.

While heartbreak is something I would never wish upon anyone in this world, the fact of the matter is that it’s simply inevitable. But all that said, there is a good that comes from heartbreak. There is a want, a craving, a desire to be good, to be better. Imagine if that’s how everyone in this world felt after being heartbroken? Imagine how much more good, how much more “better” could be shared?

The good news is, there is more love in this world; there is more good in this world to be felt by; to be shared apart from just one other human being. The good news is, there is a greater love to learn, respect, admire, and acknowledge. A love so genuine and real, that it makes disingenuous heartbreak, frankly, quite bearable. 

Self-love.

I don’t know about you, but my social media feed over the past two years has become a constant save-the-date promotion for dozens of millennial couples. Now, I am all for love. If you have found your person, no matter what age, that’s truly amazing and such a beautiful thing to be shared and cherished. Because at the end of the day, that’s what we’re all searching for, right? The companionship that lasts forever.

But for me personally, I have learned, mainly from heartbreak, that I am incapable of sharing the love in my heart with one person in this world, at this exact moment. I have learned – mainly from heartbreak, that the love I feel in my heart should be shared with myself, my passions, my greatest fears, my family, my friends, my faith, my LIFE. For me personally, I have learned, mainly from heartbreak, that the single true and genuine way of finding “the one” is to be “the one” for yourself first. The more you are able to live out your own ideal of love, the more your light will shine and draw another light, just as bright, to you.

The more you allow your light to shine, the more you allow yourself to find more love within you, your beauty, your being, your life, and your appreciation for this world above all else.

Loving yourself isn’t as easy as 1, 2, 3, but here are my tips and tricks in helping you along your journey to find your version of self-love:

1. Find what inspires you; keep going, keep seeking, keep adding to that list.

2. Train your mind to see the good in the world.

3. Let go of what you can’t control.

4. Feel everything, whatever that may be.

5. Forgive yourself; learn to give yourself a break.

6. Forgive your past.

7. Look good, feel good, be better. For you; be your biggest fan.

8. Be patient with yourself.

9. Spend quality time with yourself.

10. Spend quality time with quality people.

11. Do things that challenge you. Test yourself. Push your limits.

12. Learn to say no to what you don’t want; learn to say yes to what you do want.

13. Accept where you’re at in life at this exact moment.

14. Practice loving others and your surroundings the way you aspire to receive love.

15. Try.

Try harder. Keep failing, keep succeeding, keep dreaming, and KEEP GOING.

Keep trying. Keep loving. Keep learning. Keep living—for you, first. TC mark

One story, told five ways…

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