You’re wrong. I’m sorry to break it to you but you are worthy of love and I think that scares the shit out of you. It scares you so deeply because you’re sitting over there worrying that this person will eventually see you, how you see you. But the way you see you isn’t fair. It’s not accurate, it’s not the real you. However, you sit there and worry that they will see for who you really are, the person you haven’t identified yet and you worry that they will run because that’s what you’ve been doing … running.
Running from love. Running from yourself. Running from life.
I need you to know that love is everywhere, it’s in everything. That this idea of love and whether you are or are not worthy of it is skewed.
Yes, you’re right people suck but not everyone does. Some people could care less about hurting you in the long run, they may never truly commit, and their actions and words may not line up. However, there is, there are, there will be someone who actually does care about hurting you, they will commit wholeheartedly and their actions will speak even louder than their words. They won’t suck like everyone else.
Vulnerability isn’t weakness it’s a freaking strength. Tell them you need to be held, cry your eyes out, get awkward, have hard conversations, tell secrets, share moments.
Just because you’ve been cheated on once, twice, every time doesn’t mean everyone’s a cheater. You will attract that person that is loyal, they would never hurt you in this way. You don’t need to sabotage yourself anymore. To make up stories, to tell yourself “she’s prettier,” “to belittle you and your feelings. They are valid, but you will find someone better.
You’re not too much. Stop telling yourself that. The right one wants all of you. The baggage, the good, the morning breath, the random tears, the insecurities, the crumbs on your face after eating. The right person will think you are just the right amount of everything.
That person you loved with your entire being, they weren’t ready, and honestly, you weren’t either. Truly, it’s a good thing it didn’t work out. You need to grow, you needed to be hurt in order to really know the love you’re capable of having. Just wait till you meet the one. The actual one.
Keep wearing your heart on your sleeve, it looks good with every outfit. Your heart is your best accessory.
You’re not broken, you’ve been rearranged. All the breakups, the pit in your stomach, the heartbreak, tears, and messy conversations they have shaped you not broken you. They have guided you in your independence and have softened you in the best way.
Try loving yourself first. It may be cheesy but that right there will prove that you’re worthy of love babe.
You are fucking worthy of love.
Now that you know, you’ve been lying to yourself. That you were wrong to think you didn’t deserve the type of love you see in the movies, that you read about in books.
I hope you find love that makes you softer.
I hope this love reminds you how beautiful the feeling is and that it shouldn’t be something that scares you.
I hope you find love that makes you giddy and gives you all the butterflies.
I hope you find the person that becomes your favorite thing on this planet.
I hope this person tells you they love you often, that they show you even more and you never doubt it again.
I hope you forever know now that you are worthy of love, all the fucking love.