1. Loudly revving up your motorcycle.
People typically do this to show off. I’m not sure why they need to do that because it’s not like motorcycles are particularly difficult to obtain. Presumably they do it to be “cool” or maybe attractive. Pretty sure I have yet to find one person who finds this anything less than obnoxious, let alone attractive.
Maybe it would be okay if the unfortunate bystanders could actually decipher the song you are trying to imitate, but this is rarely the case. Humming is not really something we practice, rather it is more of an idle sport, founded and maintained in times of bored, predominantly subconscious activity. In layman’s terms…it usually sounds bad and annoys everyone within earshot. Lots of people do it anyway.
3. When guys wear their pants so low you can see their underwear.
The people wearing such pants (though barely…) think it is cool and attracts ladies. Though somehow I have yet to meet one lady who imagines her knight and shining armor as a homeboy whose jeans begin halfway down his thighs.
4. When people post their grades on their Facebook status.
The end-of-semester newsfeed plague we all love to hate. I’m not sure what goes through a person’s mind at the moment when they decide it is a noble idea. Actually I don’t really know if it belongs on this list because I can’t be sure if it irritates the general population nearly as much as it irritates me, but I also think it may irritate me enough to make up for all those who are unaffected. So there’s that…
5. When people ramble on and on to a person who is obviously busy.
You would think the silence on the other side of the conversation would speak volumes. Well, maybe it would if it could get a word in…
6. Leg jiggling.
No one wants to sit on the same surface as that person with the annoying leg jiggling habit who manages to vibrate the entire benches/rows of bleachers/pews/tables?/etc. without even realizing their body is in motion.
7. People who talk too much during movies.
Most people seeing a movie for the first time are going to be thinking similar thoughts as the plot progresses. If you think you’ve had an epiphany that has allowed you to telepathically predict the ending, RESIST THE URGE.
8. Loud obnoxious laughter.
It’s loud and obnoxious. It causes people to attempt to casually appear less associated with you.
9. When girls twirl their hair.
It’s cute if you’re six. After that, do not feel as though the term “nervous gesture” automatically excuses the behavior.
10. When people see fit to pick scabs/pop zits/ or engage in other similarly intimate or otherwise revolting procedures when sitting they think no one in the probably crowded room will notice.
11. When people block stairways, doorways, or other narrow passages because they are having a conversation.
In the grand scheme of things, your little reunion is not QUITE important enough to warrant inconveniencing the masses.
12. People who walk too slow.
The rest of the world is running late for something and YOU are making it worse.
13. When people say “no offense” and then proceed to blatantly offend you.
Any phrase that seems to waive all liability of you looking like a jerk in any given situation IS PROBABLY TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.