You Don’t Need A Beard If You Have A Stellar Chin

The lumbersexual movement has definitely wet thousands of panties across the globe recently. Beards are in—the bigger and bushier, the better. And at first I was all about supporting that, because there’s something about a man who looks like he can build you a fire and lay you down in front of it and put that axe-swinging physique to good use that just makes us girls go nuts in the nether region.

But there is a problem with these luscious face sweaters. They are hiding my most treasured male feature. The bum chin.

The cleft chin is, in my eyes, the epitome of classic handsome. Affleck, Stamos, McDreamy—they all rock that knee-weakening chin dimple and are the type of good-looking that is pretty much one size fits all.

And science has my back here, ladies. Evolutionary explanations for our behavior suggest that women are drawn to a well-defined jawline as being a good indicator of health and desirable reproductive characteristics. And that totally makes sense to me because when I see a dude with a solid jawline my pants almost take off themselves.

So dudes, beards are cool if your chin is average. By all means, keep rockin’ those bristles. But if you’ve grown yourself a curtain of facial hair that hides underneath it the chiseled chin of Kirk Douglas, then for the sake of myself and all the other thirsty girls out there hungry for some of that old Hollywood you’ve got, it’s time to dust off the clippers. Let that chin dimple take its rightful place as the star of your face.