I’m Not The Guy For You, But You Could’ve Been The One For Me

Alice Donovan Rouse

You are gentle eyes and a soft spirit
You are compassion wrapped up in a blanket of independence
Your grace and class commands respect from any person who crosses your path
You are the catalyst for change in the routine of my life
You bring peace to a storm inside my mind
A breath of fresh air in a hurricane

We had chemistry
The kind they write movies and books about
That instant connection from the first time we laid eyes on each other
We were fire and gasoline
When it burned, it burned hot
But it burned brief

Our conversations went from hours on end
Talking about our dreams, the future
To short
Superficial
Deep questions met with shallow answers

Am I wrong to stop
I feel like I’m banging on a door that is sealed
My knuckles bloodied and bruised from the effort
What is on the other side of it
Your worry, your fears
Let me help carry that burden

You allowed the distance between us to grow
Saying you wanted a relationship
But letting days, weeks go by with no contact
I tried to fight for us
Damn did I try
But that is a losing battle

I hope you find the one
Who can open that door
Who makes you happy
Who makes your heart come alive
But I sit here realizing I am not that guy
I couldn’t do that for you

I want you to be happy
I want you to flourish
To succeed at everything you do
Find everything you have ever wanted
But I know you’ll do it with someone else
And that’s what hurts like hell. TC mark

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