5 Annoying Things Women Can Do To Make Sure They Don’t Get A Second Date

Disclaimer: I graduated college exactly one year ago and therefore don’t consider myself a dating professional in any sense. After spending four years at school in Santa Barbara where going on dates wasn’t really a thing (you were either a couple or a casual drunken hookup and nothing more), I found the concept of dating to be complicated when I moved to LA but hit the ground running anyway. My dates in the last twelve months have included younger girls from college, coworkers, coworkers’ roommates, and even the occasional Tinder girl. Regardless of whether a guy has been on one date in the last year or five in the last month, we all have a few things that really piss us off when taking out a member of the opposite sex to try to get to know her on a more intimate level than a drunken bar run-in. Women, if you quickly decide that this guy isn’t for you, follow this list carefully and you’re sure to never get asked out by the same guy again.
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1. Don’t be ready when he picks you up

Girls take longer to get ready than guys do. It’s a fact. This isn’t to say that you can’t invite a guy into your apartment for a quick drink as you finish getting ready when he comes to pick you up, but if the guy is anything like me, chances are he’s either made a reservation for dinner somewhere or has activities planned according to time otherwise. Don’t make the poor guy sit in your living room making small talk with your roommate or your cat for 45 minutes as you finish putting on eye makeup. Above all, it’s disrespectful to the guy who had the balls to ask you on a date in the first place.

2. Be attached to your iPhone

I actually added this one last because I thought it was so obvious, but apparently not. I was out to dinner at a French restaurant in San Diego with my parents recently, celebrating the weekend and enjoying ourselves. A couple sat next to us about halfway through our meal and despite my intoxicated state, within ten minutes of them being seated I noted that it must have been their first date. The awkward small talk was painful, from what I could hear, and at one point each of the two whipped out their phones and began texting like there was some kind of emergency. I looked over and noticed that the guy was playing Clash of Clans and the girl was checking her Instagram feed. My family left the restaurant before they did, but the moral of this story should be pretty obvious: don’t be on your phone during a date. When I take a girl out, whether for dinner or drinks and whether it’s our first or fifth date, I leave my phone in the car. It removes the temptation and to give your date your undivided attention is huge to me. If you’re dying to not get asked on a second date, girls, by all means, bring your phone to dinner and text away.

3. Order the most expensive thing on the menu

From the time I was young, my parents always warned me about ordering something more on the expensive side when getting taken to dinner by relatives, friends’ parents, etc. 20+ years later, I stand by this rule whether getting treated by a friend, coworker, or even my own parents. I find it respectable and attractive for a girl to order something modest at a restaurant. If a guy’s taking you out for dinner, don’t automatically assume you’re getting drinks and appetizers too. If you’re reading this, chances are you’re either still in school or have graduated within the last few years and aren’t quite rolling in cash yet. Just because a guy wanted to take you out to dinner doesn’t mean he needs to drop $200 on you. If he’s ordering appetizers and drinks, follow his lead; if not, don’t be the first to order and stray from the most expensive items if you can help it. This isn’t to say that you should order a garden salad on every first date you ever have, but keep it reasonable. However, order the lobster and steak plate and chances are the guy will automatically assume you’re high-maintenance and all that will be running through his head is how much it will cost to take you out on a regular basis, thereby making him less likely to want to see you a second and third time.

4. Don’t dress for the occasion

This one can go either way. I’ve been on dates to get drinks before where the girl was clearly trying too hard. Of course it helps to know what kind of restaurant/bar you’re going to ahead of time in order to dress properly, so if you’re going to a dive bar down the street from the guy’s house just to “get to know each other” a little better, a flashy dress, heels, and lipstick aren’t necessary. It says you’re trying way too hard and probably don’t get asked out on too many dates in the first place. On the other hand, if this guy’s really trying to impress you by taking you to a steakhouse or oceanside seafood restaurant, don’t think that jeans and sandals are okay. Along with #2, this one might seem pretty obvious but it doesn’t hurt to mention. Girls, just use some common sense here and you should be fine (ask a guy friend of yours when in doubt).

5. Automatically assume he’s paying

And don’t even offer. Some people, both male and female, may totally disagree with this one. However, in my experiences in the last year or so, I find it extremely respectable if a girl pulls out her wallet at the same time I do at the end of a date. Have I ever let a girl pay for her half on our first date? Absolutely not. If this is the type of guy that you want to see again in the first place, hopefully he tells you to put your money away and pays for the whole date. I personally would be embarrassed to split a bill with a girl on our first date, but if he decides to do so, it’s still probably not the end of the world. Although chances are the guy was the one asking you on a date and not vice versa, it’s unfair to automatically assume that he’ll be covering your entire date. Should he be? Definitely. But it shouldn’t be game over if he has you covering your share. If you don’t offer to pay, is this a deal breaker for guys? Often not, but be a classy lady on your first date and AT LEAST offer. Girls, avoiding the five annoyances on this guide isn’t a surefire way to get asked on a second date. Maybe you’re just extremely awkward around members of the opposite sex, in which case this list won’t help you one bit. To everyone else, hopefully it at least sends you in the right direction. TC mark

This post originally appeared at Writtalin.

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  • http://arlsworld.wordpress.com Arl's World

    Good tips to have! I agree, although you would think that at least #1-4 would be a given. And doing #1 & 2 is just rude to your date. I must confess though on #5 …I have never offered to pay for the entire date. I have however went dutch before.

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