23 Things You Realize When Interacting With 30-Somethings

1. You will unsuccessfully try to get on their level. You have never been there before, but sometimes you’ll get lucky and relate.

2. They will semi-successfully try to get on your level. They have been there before… only a decade ago. They are not as reliant on conversational luck as you…

3. You are nowhere near as confident in your opinions as you will be a decade from now.

4. Jovially asking for the “cultiest pinot” at a restaurant becomes a conceivable thing to do.

5. Saying you couldn’t tell the difference between “a Texas Cab” and “a Napa Burgundy,” is guaranteed to get you huge laughs.

6. The origin of the prosciutto in front of you is fascinating and enriches the eating experience. You never knew.

6.5 You will only consume wine and cheese in their presence.

7. The window of opportunity for more than two people to get separate checks will close in the next ten years.

8. You obviously don’t know anything about buyer’s remorse until you’re a few months into your flourishing career in real estate. Allow them to enlighten. 

9. You are only like two major life steps behind them, but also, only like three major life steps ahead of their unborn children. This is strange for all parties.

10. Kids are a thing they consider, a thing you do not. Kids are a thing they are most likely in some kind of financial/emotional/mental place for. You sit with this fact for a while. 

11. Third or fifth-wheeling isn’t that daunting when you’re all 23ish. It will be very daunting if you are all 33ish.

12. Local political happenings are now legitimate talking points. This is not small talk to entertain your grandmother’s friends. This is your life. These are your interests. 

13. National politics are ripe for collective agreement and/or rampant, seemingly informed contrarianism. Nothing in between.

14. You will eventually stop thinking about your life in six month intervals. This is equal parts distressing and relieving.

15. You probably only need like half as many pairs of pants as you currently have. Having three pairs seems like a good goal.

16. You’re going to want to be one of “the successful friends.”

17. Every conversation they have amongst themselves over drinks and dinner would be a phenomenal one-act play.

18. In ten years, your Twitter will be devoted to linking thought-provoking articles, making salient observations about real world happenings, and sending congratulatory messages to newly-weds and parents, instead of non-sequiturs, rap appropriation and trolling the blogs you read.

19. Finding “couple friends” is going to be a super, super important part of dating/being married.

20. Marriage season starts in earnest really, really soon.

21. Using Tinder isn’t weird at this point. That changes in your thirties.

22. The same applies to having a roommate(s).

23. There’s a lot to get out your system in the next ten years, frivolous or not.