1. You’re only running shirtless again if you’re in great shape, or shamelessly terrible shape, as a sick motivator and self-torture mechanism. Nothing in between.
2. You will seriously consider “getting in great shape” a couple of times a year. You will all but devise actionable items on a list before forgetting about them three days later.
3. You could totally still break 5 if you really wanted to.
4. Five miles are impressive to your new fitness-jogging peers. Milk that for all the awe it’s worth now that they can actually fathom your mileage.
5. The glow of your glory days will burn to a sweet spot of embellishment. No question you’d have won conference if you actually trained that summer.
6. Who’re we kidding? You really only need two or three pairs of shorts now.
7. No shoe stipend? No problem; It turns out that seventy miles every few months instead of every week does wonders for your footwear’s durability.
8. Because you’re running and/or drinking less, you can taper for the beer mile. Hello PR and sense of self-worth!
9. Most steeple pits aren’t that cathartic. Sub-realization: you haven’t drank a 40 in like a year and a half.
10. The sense of accomplishment you got from hitting a casual Sunday 15 is now possible after a deceptively rigorous Wednesday evening 6.
11. If you go back and visit, you’re probably not stepping on any toes, but the further you are into the sunset, the rosier your memory hues.
12. All of your team’s inside jokes are still hilarious and will never-not be.
13. The team sure is somehow thriving without you…
14. Dabbling in other kinds of exercise will seem new and exciting, and wow so great for you if you actually follow through!
15. Strangers can and will pass you on runs now. It’s a drag.
16. Eating in the late afternoon is thoroughly good.
17. A few of your races are on YouTube. A few people will humor you maybe once.
18. Drinking water is a thing you have to remember to do now.
19. You probably did like running all along. Hello overwhelming relief that you didn’t waste eighteen years of your life!