Date a girl who’s afraid of pain. Her porcelain skin will gleam without the unsightly bruises, cuts and blisters of thoughtlessness. Her soft hands avoid the daring obstacles that harm. You won’t receive frightening hospital calls or have to worry about pulling out splinters. She will know her limits and listen to her judgment. She will always hold on tightly to the handlebars.
Date a girl who’s afraid to offend. You can go on wearing your crocs and cargo pants and she will smile sweetly at your ridiculous outfit. She will get along with your family and never make your mother cry by giving a ‘Meat is Murder’ toast at Thanksgiving dinner. She will bite her tongue and be sure her opinions don’t cause insult to others. You won’t have to always listen to her interject her contradictory viewpoints or subdue her argumentative ways.
Date a girl who’s afraid of the unknown. She will find herself content in your shared routine. The simplicity of life’s familiar pleasures will bring great joy to your lives. Whatever you have to give will always be enough. You won’t have to entertain this woman’s every foolhardy whim or try to keep up as she ducks into unfamiliar territory. You will never find yourself in sketchy alleyways or sleeping in mosquito infested bungalows in Borneo. You will know the warmth of comfort.
Date a girl who’s afraid to be disliked. Your home will swarm with throngs of friends. She will entertain with a hearty smile and laugh at all the appropriate times. She will never overstay her welcome. You’ll never have to fret about her waging war with the neighbors over shrubbery or starting arguments at the PTA meetings.
Date a girl who’s afraid to run. She won’t ever leave you behind, coughing in her dust. She will keep pace beside you and know when it’s time to go home. You will never have to lament the back of her head rushing toward some alien terrain.
Date a girl who’s afraid to be a fool. She will never embarrass you at work parties with terrible jokes or mow over the flower girl at your sister’s wedding to do the Electric Slide. She won’t laugh obnoxiously during movies or cause a scene at the zoo when the pandas are mating. You will not have to make excuses for her behavior or amends for her absurdity.
Date a girl who’s afraid to be wrong. You won’t find her arguing about machinery with a chemical engineer. Or have to calm your brother down after she’s managed to convince him that during the Great Depression women used breast milk to make cheese. She will contend to thinking before she speaks and she will store a gallery of accurate knowledge.
Date a girl who’s afraid to fail. She won’t have squandered her life’s savings on disastrous attempts at growing coral, marketing sock puppets or creating a volatile line of Sriracha-flavored brussel sprouts. She will foster her talents and leave those imprudent trials to those willing to abandon caution.
Date a girl who’s afraid to break your heart. You will never have to worry about the depression to ensue after her departure. You know she is in it for the long haul. She will accept your love and understand its implications before she agrees. You will find happiness in your shared affection and your love will grow gradually.
No, don’t love the fearless girl. She hides in the shadowy recesses of some unknown place, gallivanting through sharp gorges and skinning her knees on cliff jumps. Her recklessness offends, harms and levels much in her path. She will leap into your affection and then leave without warning. More than anything, don’t date the fearless girl because she will scare you. You will live in constant fear of her departure because deep down you know that she doesn’t need you. Date the girl you can rely on. The predictable girl whose actions make sense. Whose heart belongs to you and whose love is warm, not volcanic.
But if you find yourself in love with the fearless girl, love her hard. Challenge her. Push her. Let her push you. Let her change your mind and sometimes you will change hers. Prove her wrong, keep her close and let her fly. She may not always be unafraid, and one day she might relax in a place of permanence. She may always want to run, but try and keep up. You may not always catch her, but you will always remember the moments you watched her explode into a billion tiny fireflies and dive into the unknown, sometimes taking you along for the ride.