At one time or another, every girl has been asked, “Why are you single?” I rotate my answers between “Guys in the city just suck,” “It’s hard to meet people at a bar,” and “My generation’s form of dating is via smartphone apps.”
What keeps me sane when people ask me that question is my friends, who for the most part are single, as well. We are constantly trying to figure out why we are all single.
When we go out, we roll deep. There’s a minimum 7 or 8 of us. We always thought that our large head count made us “intimating” to the opposite sex. However, while out at a bar with my girlfriends, it hit me like Cupid’s arrow, we’re in love with each other.
I’m too in love with my friends to care about other people, including the opposite sex. So to better explain, here are ten reasons why my girlfriends have my heart.
1. We finish each other’s…sandwiches.
It’s like Lady and the Tramp, and I’m not talking about our sober vs. drunk alter egos. Food is fair game. We like the same food so sharing isn’t an option, it just happens, especially when there is grilled cheese involved.
2. We’d rather talk to each other than the guys who hit on us.
Discussing vibrators and vaginas is actually really indulging and enlightening. We’re too wrapped up in our own conversations to pay attention to any guys who approach us.
3. Our idea of the perfect date: laying around and being lazy all day together.
No sex pressure, just pure, nonjudgmental laziness mixed with the occasional take out and/or delivery.
4. We basically get dressed up for each other.
When we go out, we dress up to complement each other. Friends don’t let friends go out looking ratchet. Surrounding myself with these gorgeous girls makes feel more confident and I think, “yeah I roll with some pretty bitches.”
5. Our idea of sexting includes puppies and kittens.
A cute, little fluff ball > a dick-pic. PERIOD.
6. We are the best travel buddies.
Eating all the Wawa hoagies and gummy bears that you want, jamming out to the Spice Girls, N*SYNC, and the Backstreet Boys, and solving world problems, what more could you ask for while riding in the car for hours?
7. We listen.
Selective hearing? That shit doesn’t fly, no matter what.
8. Discussing our celebrity husbands, errr crushes, is acceptable and encouraged.
There’s no room for jealousy or judgment as we plan our future weddings, even though the grooms don’t even know us. They obviously want a say in the color of the bridesmaid dresses.
9. Happy hour is always the solution.
There’s no breakup! It’s not even an option. Problems, stress, and frustrations are relieved via shots and half prices appetizers.
It’s no wonder that we’re still single, we’ve set the bar so high for each other that guys have a lot to live up to. We would never let one another date a douche, creep, low-life, etc. It’s been instilled in us that we have each other’s backs no matter what and no guy will come between that.
So my new answer when someone asks, “Why are you single?” is “because I’m in love with somebody else.”