This Is The Pain Of Being ‘Just Friends’

I just keep hearing your words.

How it breaks your heart, how you hate to say it, but how you just don’t feel the same way.

I keep hearing those quotes, those things people say when they’re trying to make you feel better.

How people change, distance makes the heart grow fonder, experiences like this change people.

At first I believed them. At this point, they’re beginning to sound like background noise.

I keep thinking back to all those memories.

How we kicked each other under the table, locked eyes with such a meaning, hugged for just a bit too long.

How every moment with you stopped time and became my favorite memory.

I keep thinking back to those texts, those calls, those moments.

How actions speak louder than words… every action says one thing, but how your words seem to mean another. Which am I to believe?

It’s mixed signals, mixed messages, mixed emotions.

I keep thinking. And thinking. And overthinking.

Because how can I be so in love with you, how can you know this, how can we have these memories and these conversations… and it mean nothing?

I don’t know.

So I keep thinking and holding onto the hope that you’re guarding your heart, that your actions speak loudest, and that all these things we’re going through will get us where we’re meant to be.

My heart is hurting. Repeating over and over –

“I just don’t feel the same.”

And so I keep thinking. And thinking. And overthinking.

If distance makes the heart grow fonder, then a thousand miles should do a hell of a lot for us.

If actions speak louder than words, then what on earth is happening?

If experiences like this change people, push them together, then how could we possibly get closer?

I don’t know.