To My Fellow Women: Save Yourself

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Kaci Baum / Unsplash

I, like many others, have been in numerous relationships that were all dead-ends. It became habitual of me to find the guy with the most problems and try to “save him.” Ladies, I know I’m far from alone in this. Countless times you’re left heartbroken by these boys and are left sitting there thinking, “what is wrong with me? Why can’t I find a healthy relationship?” The answer had always been right in front of us, we just weren’t ready to see it.

I’ve dated the worst of the worst. I’ve been in relationships that consisted of cheating and manipulation that eventually escalated to verbally and physically abusive. I hated myself for years because I let these boys make me believe I was less of a woman than I truly was. I was depressed and my anxiety had reached a level that left me in constant fear. All trust had vanished; to the point I was even questioning my loved ones. I had been pushed so low that I actually believed I didn’t deserve that healthy, loving relationship I once longed for. I had family and friends begging me to see myself for what I was and start respecting myself enough to break this pattern.

Nothing they would say would be what turned my life around, it had to be me.

One day, after being cheated on, once again, I looked at my tear-stained face and I asked myself, “what the fuck are you doing?” Enough was enough. No one was going to solve this for me, only I could start standing up for myself. I deleted every negative boy in my life off of social media, deleted their phone numbers, got my hair done and held my girlfriends as close to me as I could.

I knew this wouldn’t be easy, but I also knew I would never be happy if I didn’t do something to finally make myself happy.

My next step was filling my life with everything that made me happy. Personally, it was filling my playlist with rock ‘n’ roll, true crime books and adventures with my friends. I found things that filled my day with constant laughter and left me feeling a little more whole inside. Eventually, I loved myself again. I realized my worth and know now that no one can take this empowerment away from me, not even a boy. Every woman is going to have her own special recipe to make herself happy at her own pace, so don’t get nervous if it takes longer for you than others. It certainly did for me.

Women, save yourselves. Do not ever let a boy tell you that you aren’t worth it. They’re just boys, after all. Don’t let someone make you question yourself. Empower yourself. Hold your friends and family close. Lean on them when you need to, but save yourself. Love yourself more. Cherish everything about you. Be happy. Love the life you were given.

Rise above and say, “FUCK IT.” Because I promise, you’re worth it. You’re powerful. You can save yourself. TC mark

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