It always seems like you got the short end of the stick in any relationship you have. It always makes you feel like it sucks to be the person who cares more — that it hurts to be the person who cares more.
You slowly start to numb your emotions, build walls around yourself, and try to care less to shield yourself from future disappointments, rejections, and hurting. Nobody else knows how much you love, or how much you care. All that they see is someone detached, someone who wants to be independent of others to be happy. You will feel like it’s true when they say, “the person who cares less has the most power.” No one will take you for granted anymore. People take for granted those who care more simply because they know they’d always stick around. But now, they know that you wouldn’t give a shit if they do. You’re no longer the same weak person vulnerable to anyone’s thoughts, words, or actions.
This goes on for days, weeks, months, or even years, but then you realize how empty your life has been all along. Just when you’re about to finally succumb to this way of life and forget about the person you once were, you see that old friend that you hung out with all the time. You reminisce the days that have gone by, and remember how everything used to be — how you used to be. You miss being the person people go to, the one people open up to, the one they trust with their life stories, experiences, and problems. You miss having deep relationships with your loved ones, which can only be formed by allowing yourself to be vulnerable, by exposing yourself to them, by breaking down the walls around you. Sure, the detachment brought about by the walls protected you from pain, but it also restricted you from true joy and companionship.
It’s better to risk getting hurt but be loved more than to be loved less than enough. It may seem like there’s no good side to being the person who cares more. They are the ones who face rejection and disappointment. They are the ones usually taken for granted, but so what? They are also the ones brave enough to cross boundaries and climb the walls people build around themselves. Life all along is about taking risks, being the brave soul to send an “I love you” and get an “I love you too” in return.
So whenever you’re feeling discouraged, feeling like going through the unhealthy cycle of becoming the person who cares less again, remember this: Although it may be the person who cares less who wins the little battles of who-chats-who-first or who-doesn’t-give-a-damn, it’s always the person who cares more who emerges the victorious, because in the long run, it’s always the “person who cares more” whose thoughts and efforts that people will learn to appreciate.