What’s a man-child? I am pleasantly surprised to discover that it’s actually in the dictionary today:
“A man who has the qualities of a child : a childlike man” – Merriam-Webster
And I thought that it was merely a term used for memes.
So how do you know if you’re around one? Dating one? Friends with one?
You’ve got to detect the signs of a man-child. Here we go!
1. He complains about every little thing.
From shitty weather to a crowded place. It never stops. Nothing pleases him!
2. He complains because he feels that he can.
It’s a reactionary type of self-defense mechanism. He believes that complaining will bring him closer to the solution when in reality, it doesn’t.
In other words, he doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up.
3. He’s a spoiled brat in a sense that both the situation and solution can never please him.
Man-child complains about someone who didn’t apologize to him.
Man-child gets apology eventually.
Man-child then complains, “I didn’t like the way he apologized to me. He had a weird tone in his voice.”
4. He doesn’t clear his fast food tray after eating.
I don’t care if you’re the customer. You’re a grown ass man. Have some pride, clear your shit, help the staff there and just be nice.
5. He isn’t nice to the waiter, cashier or cab driver.
If you’re nice to your friends, but not to the service staff, you aren’t a nice person. Period.
If you think that you get to be a dick just because you pay a premium, you’ve got a very skewed idea on what respect for others means.
If you’re unhappy because of a tiny hiccup with the product or service you paid for, you’re a man-child.
6. He is messy as fuck.
Half-finished ramen noodles in a cup. Empty beer cans everywhere. Bedsheets that haven’t been changed. The list goes on.
Only filth lives in filth and it shows how lazy he is. You know this is one of the biggest signs of a man-child when you step into his room.
7. He is never on time.
If you’re always late, it means you don’t respect your friends and also yourself, because you don’t care how others think of you for being late.
8. He blows everything out of proportion and even lies just to look good.
And the man-child usually does this in big groups. He is always the victor in every story he tells, but it’s all bullshit.
9. He starts bitching about the girl after she rejects him.
It’s like suddenly, all his feelings for her disappear and she becomes the enemy who has placed him in the friend zone.
The man-child doesn’t know how to handle rejection from a lady. Their only idea of a solution is to put her down just so they can feel like they weren’t at fault at all.
10. He makes fun of his friends, but can’t take a joke himself.
Nothing else needs to be said here.
11. He is violent, abusive and super annoying when drunk.
His inner man-child emerges once his inhibitions are gone. He then acts like a complete baboon in public.
Needless to say, he can’t drink for shit. He has no class and treats every drinking occasion like a house party for frat boys.
12. And on the following day, he’d conveniently forget everything.
He’d laugh it off and say, “Oh my god! I did that?! I don’t remember shit! I was drunk!”
And only he thinks that it’s funny.
13. He still obeys every single thing that his mom says.
Sorry not sorry for writing this, but only a man-child obeys his mom explicitly without question.
A man knows how to stand up for himself and make his own decision, even if that means hurting his mom’s feelings, at least a little.
14. His friends are also man-children and he thinks that that’s fine.
An adult knows that his character is defined somewhat by the people he surrounds himself with. Here, the signs of a man-child are literally in more than one person.
If he refuses to see this and chooses to keep making excuses for his friends, he is a man-child who doesn’t dare to stick to his own personal values.
15. He forces his own friends to pick a side.
When shit goes down, the man-child doesn’t listen to reason or the truth from his own friends.
Instead, he makes them pick a side. And if they don’t take his side, he’d get angry and upset.
16. He gets defensive and turns the situation on you when you give him tough love.
Should you be straight with the man-child and tell him what he needs to hear, he gets extremely defensive about it.
Then he tries to bait you on your own shortcomings even though the conversation has nothing to do with you or worse, even though he came to you for advice in the first place.
17. He loves being a drama queen on social media.
He posts screenshots of conversations.
He makes passive aggressive remarks and alludes to somebody else, thinking that the rest of us don’t know who he’s talking about, but really, we all do.
He rants, whines and complains about people, the government or the world non-stop.
He tags his own friends and gets them involved.
He is just a bitch bitching on social media.
18. He can’t be alone.
He can’t eat alone.
He can’t go to the movies alone.
He makes others wait for him outside the shop while he tries on new clothes.
He follows along uninvited like a stray dog.
He even lies and tells others that he’s arriving soon, but shows up late anyway simply because he doesn’t want to enter the club alone.
He’s plain self-conscious whenever he’s alone.
19. He refuses to grow up.
As he grows older, his only mantra in life is “Age is just a number! I can do whatever I want!”
Then he proceeds to do whatever the hell he wants despite knowing that it may look bad on him or hurt others.
A man-child simply lacks self-preservation.