I know of guys who would hit the clubs behind their girlfriends’ back and start hooking with up other girls. When I’d ask them the next day, “What about your girlfriend, man?” they’d reply, “Nah it’s just a one-time thing. She doesn’t need to know.”
A female friend once told me, “When I’m at the club and meet other guys, I like to tell them that I’m single. It’s just so exciting!”
That’s infidelity culture right there. It’s pretty rampant where I’m from. I know a ton of friends—married couples, even—who cheat on their partners.
The demoralizing part is that it somehow seems to be a very accepted practice, so much so that I’m never surprised anymore whenever I find out that someone is cheating.
While we were growing up, we thought love was like a fairy tale. Our parents met each other, fell in love, got married, and then had us.
But then we slowly discovered that love and romance are tainted with so many grey areas.
Cheating can involve texting flirty messages to someone else, hooking up at the club, or banging prostitutes. Then there’s emotional cheating, where one is only in a relationship for the sake of comfort while his or her heart is elsewhere.
So when did it become OK to cheat?
Maybe it became OK when everyone started doing it.
All your bros and sisters are doing it, man. If so many people are having fun cheating, it can’t be that big of a deal—right? Gotta get those numbers up. YOLO! Sleeping with one person in your entire life? That’s wrong.
Maybe it became OK when one becomes unhappy in a relationship.
You got bored. Or he hits you. Or she’s always mysteriously going out to meet an unknown friend at weird times. Two wrongs make a right, right? Wrong.
Maybe it became OK because you think he or she will never find out.
Ignorance is bliss, right? What they don’t know won’t hurt them. Some things are better left unsaid. After all, it was just a harmless kiss. It was just a little playful sexting. It was just some fun through flirting. It was only that one night.
But it’s never OK to cheat.
The alcohol that made you drunk didn’t cause you to cheat. The fact that your friends are all doing it doesn’t make it all right. Your momentary lapse in judgment is not an alibi. The bad decision you made on impulse doesn’t mean it’s a “one time” sin that will disappear eventually.
Even your unhappiness in a relationship doesn’t make it all right. Unhappiness is no excuse for dishonesty.
Love can be tricky. Even infidelity is tricky. But as long as you have brains and a conscience, you know it’s not all right to cheat.
So stop with the excuses already. If you need to justify your cheating, you don’t love him or her. If you are unhappy, break up already. It hurts, but you’ll be fine. If you think it’s “just sex” or some harmless fun, you’re only deluding yourself.
If you want to fuck around, make a clean break and be on your way. Otherwise, you’re just fucking it up for yourself.