For a lot of people, every year comes to a close with ticked-off boxes– some travel to new places, some overcome fears, some graduate, and some discover a new talent or find a new hobby.
More specific to people my age, some get into a relationship, some take the relationship further and get engaged, some seal the deal and get married, some decide to add more people to their families and get pregnant, some focus on their careers and get promoted, some purchase their own car, their own flat, their own house, and some decide to explore the world of investment and security.
2015 is the year I turned 30. Most of my friends have gone through or have at least 5 of the things I mentioned above. I, on the other hand, for this year, had none.
I didn’t travel this year; I didn’t go to any new place or province. I didn’t graduate too. I also, unfortunately, haven’t found a new hobby or discovered a new talent. I’m still single, which also obviously leads to not getting engaged, not getting married, and not getting pregnant. I didn’t get promoted, and I didn’t switch careers. I also continue to borrow my aunt’s car, still live with my parents, and still ask them for money if my salary just couldn’t meet my monthly expenses. I’ve lost friends, and maybe even gained haters, or enemies, if they would even dare declare themselves that.
But, as the universe conspires, I chanced upon a quote while browsing through the wonderful World Wide Web. The quote said: “Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”
Maybe I didn’t travel because I was always about building a home. Maybe I haven’t overcome my fears because it’s my vulnerability that makes me strong. Maybe I haven’t graduated, didn’t get promoted, and didn’t get the urge to switch careers, simply because I’ve more things to learn where I am now. Maybe I haven’t found a new hobby because there is still more to explore in the ones I decided to pursue before. Maybe I didn’t really lose friends; maybe our spirits or cores were just too different to even be friends to begin with. Maybe I’m still single because I’m not yet done taking care of myself; or maybe I’m still single because he’s not yet done taking care of himself. Who knows! And who cares, really!
So, to the boxes I have not ticked this year: Cheers! Thank you, for helping me find serenity in solitude, for pushing me to seek strength in silence, for teaching me how to love myself: flaws and all. I now end the year ticking off an even bigger box, facing the years to come with a much stronger heart and a more open mind; ready to unbecome who I was never meant to be in the first place, and become who I have always dreamed of being. And here’s to hoping and praying that every person who gets to read this would stop limiting themselves and measuring themselves up to the boxes they’ve set their eyes on ticking off each new year.