I’ve been the uninterested one before. The one sending out platonic vibes strong enough to be picked up by radio. And, I never cease to be confused when the intended receiver of my sexual and romantic disinterest is oblivious. Continues to pursue. Makes a move.
But unfortunately, I’ve been on the receiving end of the apathetic vibes and my unremitting optimism sometimes blinds blaring signals. From my view, these are the obvious signs we should not ignore:
1. He is great at answering questions.
He would answer them all day if you kept asking (which you could, you’re full of them). He could work on asking questions, though. Just once. Just ask me something. Ask me about my day. Anything.
2. He doesn’t see you when you’re not talking, when you’re talking to someone else, when you move to the other side of the room, when you leave the party.
You can tell when someone is watching you, noticing you; you can feel it. He doesn’t watch you.
3. Lack of touch.
I don’t expect every guy to make physical moves right away. Perhaps there is more to the story: you were friends first; he feels like he can’t; it’s complicated. But after you get over all of these excuses, if he likes you he will try to touch you. I don’t mean in an overtly sexual way but maybe a hug. Maybe he will touch my back when he leans in to ask a question, subtly touch my arm, brush passed me, give me something!
4. If he likes you, he will smile at you.
You will make him smile. When he is looking at you and when he is not. You haven’t felt his smile.
5. Communication is complicated.
But if he wants you, communication is so easy. He will reach out to you. You will end up in the same places. He will be responsive. He won’t bail. He won’t ignore, forget, be late. There will be no confusion.
6. You’ve spent many nights thinking about it.
Hoping. Figuring it out. Optimistically deciphering signals. If he actually desired you this would be unnecessary. You would know.