Step #1: We’re all human, so start by ignoring their mistakes.
Everybody has flaws. And in friendship, you have to accept people the way they are and ignore the negative encounters you may have had on the way. Uncomfortable situations like these, where you suddenly lose the person who’s been your go-to since you were little, tell us a lot about the other person and how to deal with him/her in case it happens again. While some things you can’t ignore, little things don’t always have to create utter BFF chaos.
Step #2: Acknowledge that it’s not always your fault.
Some people are snobby enough to never think wrong of themselves, while others are overtly critical of themselves. Unnecessary criticism undermines your self-esteem and makes you feel all the more guilty sometimes, when you actually aren’t in the wrong. How to solve this? Take a deep breath and analyze the situation logically. When you rid yourself of too much emotion, it helps you to see clearly and realize that you’re not always the bad guy.
Step #3: Do NOT lose your self-respect.
Those who don’t value the relationship make no effort to mend it. If you’re constantly letting your BFF know how much he/she means to you, despite knowing that he/she doesn’t really care, you’re allowing yourself to be unnecessarily vulnerable. Don’t do that! You have to love yourself enough to take a stand and fight.
Step #4: Empathize.
When we’re caught up in our struggle, we often forget to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes. Trying to understand the other person’s point of view as to why he/she would do that may help clear the air. Maybe he/she had no other choice. Maybe it is our fault and we failed to see it. This will change our perspective, and maybe even the direction of the relationship.
Step #5: Get a third party opinion.
When you are too confused as to what should be done, it always helps to take an unbiased ‘third opinion’ from a person who either has no connection with the people involved or shares equal equation with both the sides. (However, the latter may sometimes make things worse due to obvious reasons…so be careful!)
Step #6: Give it that one last try.
Sometimes our egos stand in the way of reconciliation. Never let an avoidable misunderstanding ruin relations. If you think that your friendship is worth it and you know what to do to save it, never think twice! Go ahead and give it your best shot.
Step #7: Accept that things may never be the same again. And that’s okay.
Even if you manage to repair your friendship, you have to accept that the two of you may never be like your old selves. That doesn’t mean things would get worse. On the contrary, the crappiest times often build the best relationships. So you never know! Keep faith. And work on healing.
Step #8: Be at peace with yourself.
Know that the bad relationships are just a part of your journey and not the defining turn. If you have made a mistake, learn from it and move on. If you aren’t guilty, try and forgive the other person. You might need it more than him/her. Forgiveness lifts off a huge burden we’ve been carrying all this while, and it relieves you of the psychological pain that you’ve been through.
Step #9: Move the heck on!
If you still feel terrible about the loss (which most likely you will), know that it happens to everyone. Yes, everyone! It’s all a part of preparing you to deal with similar situations in the future. The moment you’re able to overcome the sadness, you’ve already become stronger. So feel good about yourself and live life to the fullest.
Step #10: Be optimistic.
So you lost your BFF. That freaking sucks. But it doesn’t mean that the whole world has come to an end. Never stop believing in yourself and others! Go out there and make some worthy friends. Who knows, maybe you’ll find an even better BFF…a BFFAE.