3 Reasons Why I’m Not Ready To Get Married (Or Be In A Committed Relationship)

Flickr / Chiara Cremaschi
Flickr / Chiara Cremaschi

1. Chronologically, I’m still a young woman.

Right now, I’m 21 going on 22 years of age. Being an observer of different relationships, fictional, AND IN REAL LIFE, I’ve become more self-aware than ever on what to expect, and not expect in relationships. I don’t bash others who marry at my age, because if that’s what makes you happy, more power to you. I just wouldn’t want to settle down so soon. In The Middle, there is an episode entitled “The Answer.” When Sue Heck is proposed by her boyfriend, Darren, she automatically says yes. Technically, she says “sure,” but that’s the same thing!

However, after her parents, Mike and Frankie Heck, urge her to NOT get married (“Marriage is hard! We just make it look easy!”), Sue puts her foot down and acts like a mature, responsible adult. She starts naming all of the reasons why she can’t be committed right now. Truthfully, some of these reasons she lists fits me as well. Wanting to travel, paint, live in a dorm, and go to sunny California, and many other reasons are Sue’s deepest desires.

Sue Heck is not ready to commit to a relationship and neither am I.

I’ve only lived in a dorm for my entire freshman year of college, have done mostly sketching in my artwork, which I want to continue to do, travelled to different states in America, and I may (or may not) go to CA. Since I’ve become more confident within myself, everything seems so possible within my grasp. I feel invincible, as if I can do anything.

2. I love my freedom too much.

Compare me to Merida from Brave, Elsa from Frozen, and Pocahontas and Mulan from their self-titled Disney movies. Elsa isn’t as addicted to romance as her sister, Anna, is. All Elsa is concerned about is making others happy, solving problems, and being the Queen of Arendelle. Merida’s mother, Eleanor, pushes marriage on her own daughter, but Merida loves her freedom too much. Pocahontas and Mulan practically had to rebel against their fathers, Powhatan and Fa Zhou, to write their own stories and not follow old traditions, with Mulan saving China and Pocahontas stopping a war between the English and the Native Americans.

Similarly, all females want to help others, and help theirselves at the same time. While it’s true that the latter of the four women ended up having boyfriends, all of them are free-spirited.

If I ever wanted to date anyone, they would have to understand that I’m a free spirit as well.
I always thought that due to being a teenager, I wanted to be free like everyone else, but I think a part of me knew that I wanted to be independent. I just didn’t have the confidence back then. Now I do and I will NEVER lose that again. There are many factors as to why I love independence. Breaking away from societal norms, not wanting to be tied down, which ties to my first reason, following the beat to my own drum, and doing my own thing.

3. I have an innate curiosity about our world.

Ever since I was a young girl, I’ve always been curious about life and why certain people take different paths. This ties back to reason #2 about wanting my freedom, but I love my life the way it is right now.

(It’s kind of ironic how I don’t want to be “tied down,” yet I’m writing how all of my reasons are tied together.)

If my high school self realized what I have been doing in my late teens to early 20s, she would think twice about having a boyfriend. Even back then, I still did what I’m doing now: focused on school, improved on being a better writer, and learning more facts about myself than I could imagine.

I’m not saying that all woman should break up with their boyfriends, or husbands, and just be free spirits. BUT IT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW YOURSELF WELL BEFORE YOU GET INVOLVED WITH ANYBODY.
I urge you all to not make the same mistakes I made by trying to get into a relationship when you didn’t even know what you wanted. I still like to flirt, check out guys in public, and enjoy the single life. I also have a yearning to be in a relationship when I’m authentically ready.

This just isn’t the right time. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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