An Apology To My Younger Self, I’m Sorry You Felt Like You Weren’t Enough

João Silas
João Silas

I am sorry.

I am sorry that I let you believe in what other people said about you. I am sorry, because I told you to always strive to be perfect, and even when I saw you heartbroken every time you failed, I still pushed you to try for all the wrong reasons—for them, and not for you.

I am sorry that I allowed you to listen to whatever others had to say and let them get to you. I am sorry I pushed you to prove them wrong, when you didn’t really have to prove anything in the first place. I understand now that you can never be perfect, because no matter what, you can never please everybody.

I am sorry that I let you be too vulnerable. I am sorry for not allowing you to be confident in your own skin, and most especially for not letting you keep writing and not think about what other people had to say about the way that you think, speak, and record your experiences. I am sorry that I have tolerated your thinking that you are not smart enough, unlike the people around you, making you lose all your motivation and interest on what you were most passionate about.

I understand now that most of the time, hard work beats talent or even intelligence. More importantly, who cares if they are smarter, more attractive, or “better” than you? You are unique, and extraordinary. You may not be as smart or attractive as they are, but your ability to see things through, to see the beauty amidst the ugly makes you just as amazing.

I now know that I should have just let you go. I should have just permitted you to do whatever you want, and imprinted on your mind that it doesn’t matter what other people say. It never did, and it never will. What matters is that you are doing something, and that you are never idle. I wish I told you that it is okay to fail, and held your hand as you stand up from the fall, and start again.

No matter how many times, how I wish you kept trying. I know that you are capable of anything, and I wish you knew that. I want to turn back time, so I could tell you that so as long as you are not hurting anybody else, not even yourself, you are capable of greatness. You could change the world.

I am sorry I never told you all these. I do hope that it’s not too late to let you know this:

Your dream of making a difference in the world is not impossible. Regardless of your age, your gender, who you’re with, where you are, and who you are; Nothing is impossible. You may have heard that over and over, but it’s true.

Always remember: you can, if you will. TC mark

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