Everyone has that ‘what if’ person. The person you will always look back at with fond memories, you’ll smile when they cross your mind, and if you find out that they’re doing well for there self you will be happy for them because you know that they deserve it. But every now and then you will find yourself wondering what if. What if things didn’t end between the two of you.
This person isn’t technically an ex. It could be a one night stand in whom you surprisingly really got along with, you spent the following morning together laughing and mucking around. He even cooked you breakfast, albeit he somehow managed to burn beans, but not many one nighters would go to the effort. But then you had to leave, he kissed you goodbye at the door and you want to see him again, as does he, but you both know that it was what it was, and following custom neither or you make a move, you just
It could be a holiday romance, you both entered the ‘relationship’ knowing full well it has an expiration date, but feelings still developed. You spent every minute together, you were both the best versions of yourselves, you were adventurous, fun and carefree, but then, just like you knew it would, it ended. Not because of an argument or because feelings faded, but because it had to, because you both knew that at home things wouldn’t be the same, so neither of you try, even though you desperately want to, but you don’t want to ruin what you had.
It could be a stranger you meet on the train. Nothing happened, but he kept you company for your 5 and a half hour journey and before you knew it he knew the ages of your siblings, the weird stuff your dog likes to eat and how you’re petrified of mannequins. The train stops and you have to get off and then a thought crosses your mind that you’re never going to see this person again and that thought makes you a little sad, but you don’t ask for his number because this is your stop and you have to get off.
It’s those people that become our ‘What If’s’. What if you stopped doing what society expects of you and actually went after what you wanted, you asked if your one night stand fancies going for lunch, you gave the holiday romance a go on home turf, you asked the stranger on the train for his number. You felt a connection with these people, there was a click, you felt it the minute you said something without thinking about it, you realized how strangely comfortable this person made you feel despite not even really knowing them. You felt like you had never not known them, and for that short amount of time you were really glad that they were in your life. So what if that person was who you were supposed to be with, what if you pursued them, where would you be now, would your life still be the same, would they still be around?
Some time down the line when you’re old and married to a really great guy, who is so kind and generous, he makes you laugh until it psychically pains you and has terrific cheekbones, what if you notice that somethings missing, well in fact, you’ve always known something was missing, but you brushed it aside as you never knew what it was, so in reality it can’t be that big of a deal? It’s these fleeting moments when you will look back at that one night stand or the holiday romance or the stranger on the train and wonder what if? What if you chose them? Would that unexplainable feeling still be missing, or would such a thought never cross your mind, because with them there, there
would never be any doubt?
These what if people could turn out to be terribly suited to you, there little traits you never noticed before could irritate you beyond belief, they may not want children like you do, they may be part of a satan worshipping cult. I don’t know. But you don’t know until you try, so suck up your pride and next time you want to do something or see someone, make it happen, unless you’re happy living a life of ‘what if’s’.
Life should be full of memories not dreams.