When I decided to end things with my ex more than 3 years ago, I kept questioning myself. Did I make the correct decision? Why did I do this? What if no one else finds me attractive? What if he was The One and I am just being hasty? What if I am making the biggest mistake of my life by leaving him?
See, this is what happens when you’re in a relationship with a partner who keeps taking from you. They’d keep making you feel that they are the only ones that can appreciate and validate you as a human being and as a result, you begin to doubt about yourself and your decisions if they are not there. There were moments during the first few months where I get depressed just by thinking of the uncertainty. I questioned myself. I even thought of getting him back. When you’re in a relationship for so long and become comfortable with the thought of being with just one person for the rest of your life, you wouldn’t even think of the outside world. Then, when things crash all around you, all of a sudden, you’d feel so lonely in this vast world – alone in a place full of people.
It’s natural being bitter. It’s called having human emotions. I sort my emotions out logically, analysing each moment and even though that made me feel a teeny bit better, it didn’t stop me from feeling bitter. Why did I waste so much time for someone who doesn’t appreciate me? Why did I waste so much effort or money? Why? Why? And then we start the blaming game.
It takes a whole lot of time to get over someone you’ve been investing your love, time, energy and even money in. Sometimes you may even find yourself wondering about this at 4 a.m. in the morning while reading a book about quantum physics. There are several things you need to keep telling yourself like a mantra whenever you feel like going back to the vicious cycle of self-doubt and being bitter.
1. I am important, I am sufficient and I don’t need validation from someone who doesn’t appreciate me for who I am.
2. There will always be jerks and douchebags in this world but there are also amazing people who are willing to sit with me in silence till the wee hours of the morning.
3. I can be a much better version of myself through myself. I don’t need anyone to help me realise that.
4. I can do whatever I want now without asking for someone else’s opinion.
5. I can save my money for the things I want to spend on.
6. I am now free to find someone who’d be a better match for me.
7. I am now free to decide what is best for me without anything or anyone holding me down.
So let your hair down, have fun. Rediscover your love for art or singing. Rediscover your love for hiking or even watching movies with your friends! Discover new interests and always having the desire to better yourself. Surround yourself with your loved ones. Read new books, watch movies till late at night Because when life spits you out as a mess, the best revenge you can ever do is to come out stronger than before.